Dom drummed her fingers on the bar. No matter how much she didn’t want to be at work, she knew she couldn’t miss another day. A sigh rushed from her lips and she mechanically poured a drink and slid it down the bar to an expecting patron. He slapped a ten on the surface and walked away with a polite smile. Her eyes squinted at his retreating back but she let it go, grabbing the cash and sliding it into the register.

Combing her fingers through her hair, her eyes lifted to the clock she kept behind the bar, the red numbers letting her know she still had three hours left of her shift. With a groan she tried to focus her attention on the music pumping through the club. She bobbed her head and rocked her hips, occasionally pouring a beer or mixing a drink, her hands moving without thinking as she prepared the array of alcoholic mixtures.

“How you doing, Pocahontas?” Darryl’s voice interrupted her mechanical stupor. The big man joined her behind the bar and popped open the cash register to make change.

Dom frowned, “I’m fine, D.”

“Really?” he glanced at her quickly, his eyes locking with hers before turning back to the cash. “Because you look fucking miserable to me.”

“Not having the best week, dude,” she grumbled. “Sorry it’s showing.”

He chuckled and leaned an elbow on the bar using his other to push the register closed. “You know you can talk to me, Dominica. I’m not just the big bad boss man.”

She nodded, “Thanks, but I’m good.”

He eyed her for a moment before nodding and making his way toward the VIP bar where he’d come from. Turning back to the bar she leaned forward, burying her head in her hands with a groan. The guys had left without much more than a word to her and it was entirely her fault. She’d ruined their homecoming and betrayed their friendship all in the matter of a five-minute phone call. She wondered what Mikey even thought of her now. She knew he didn’t want to speak to her and she didn’t blame him. She was a horrible friend.

“Dom, don’t look so put out.” A soft hand touched her arm and she jumped, looking into the soft brown eyes of her roommate.

“Nat, what are you doing here?” she hissed and took a step back, letting her arms fall to her side.

“A girl can’t visit her roommate at work? Fine, I’ll go then,” she stuck her nose in the air and grabbed the black clutch she’d placed on the bar.

Rolling her eyes, Dom slumped her shoulders and shook her head, “You can stay.”

“Lovely!” the blonde chirped and resumed her seat. She shrugged her jacket from her shoulders revealing a skintight black mini dress and leaned forward. “What do you suggest I drink tonight, Nikki?” she grinned when Dom frowned at the nickname.

“Stop calling me that.”

“Why do you hate nicknames so much, Dom? They’re cute,” Nat brushed her off. “Personally I think Pumpkin is perfect.”

Dom glared at her and turned her back grabbing a glass and pouring Nat a martini. She plopped an olive in the liquid and handed it over, watching as she took a sip and smiled.

“Perfect.”

“Great,” Dom mumbled, pulling a towel out of her pocket and wiping off a bit of spilled beer. She tossed it under the bar and grabbed a plastic cup, pouring some Sprite into it and taking a long drink. She smiled and set it behind her before returning her attention to Nat. “Why are you here? Really?”

Nat frowned, “Oh come on, why can’t I just be here to have fun, Nikki?”

“Don’t do that, Natalie,” Dom slapped her hand on the bar, her impatience betting the better of her. “Don’t fuck with me. Just tell me why you’re here. I’m trying to work.”

Nat frowned and leaned forward, biting her lip, “Okay fine. I’m here because Gee told me to look out for you before he left. He’s worried about you.”

The scoff escaped Dom’s lips before she could stop it and she rolled her eyes again, “If he was so worried he would have called. And as you can see, I’m fuckin’ fine so you can tell him to go fuck himself.”

Nat puckered her lips with an adorable frown, “You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ do,” she snapped and stomped to the opposite end of the bar where a gaggle of females waited to be served. She took their orders and filled them with little problem, taking their money and adding it to the register at that end. She glared at Nat who had turned away from her to chat up the guy who’d been there earlier. She could tell from her body language she wanted nothing to do with him and was trying to tell him off.

“Jesus H.” Dom muttered under her breath, making her way back to her roommate as she shied away from the guy’s hand. Pressing her palms on the bar and leaning forward, Dom caught the guy’s eye and plastered a fake smile on her face. “Hey, baby, is there a problem?” She leaned close to Nat, her face mere inches from hers. She gave an affectionate giggle and nuzzled the crook of her neck and the guy finally got the hint.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize…” he trailed and stumbled away.

Dom watched him go with narrowed eyes and pulled away from the blonde with a flick of her long hair. “You’re welcome.”

“Thanks, Pumpkin,” Nat snickered, blowing her a kiss.

Fed up with the nicknames, Dom planted her hands on her hips and scowled, “If you’re just gonna sit here and be a fucking nuisance I’ll have D escort you out.”

Nat’s face fell and she pouted, “Come on, Dom, why do you hate our nicknames so much? It’s not like they’re hurting you.”

“Just don’t,” she turned her face away and pressed her hand over her mouth. “Can you please leave? I just want to finish my shift.”

Seeing the emotion in Dom’s eyes Nat backed off and nodded, “Okay, babe. I’ll go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry for upsetting you.” She grabbed her clutch and hopped off her stool. When she opened her purse to pay for her drink Dom shook her head and waved her hand.

“No, it’s on the house. I can’t charge drinks to a good friend,” she said, grabbing the glass and tossing the olive into the trash.

Nat grinned and leaned forward, planting a kiss on Dom’s cheek before pulling away, “Thank you, sweetie. I’ll be back after your shift. We can drive home together, okay?”

Her head bobbed in ascent and Nat disappeared into the crowd. Blinking the unwanted moisture from her eyes, Dom cleared her throat, throwing every ounce of her concentration into her job until the end of her shift.

“’Scuse me, miss,” a heavily slurred voice slowed the bartender down as she made her way toward the employee room to gather her things. A heavy hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her progress and she rolled her eyes, spinning around to tell the guy off.

“Listen, Mister—” she froze when her eyes fell on the pesky patron from before. Her eyes widened and she stepped away so his hand fell away from her shoulder. “Pete?”

“It’s about time you recognized me,” he grumbled with his thick Irish accent slurring his words.

“What do you want?” she demanded, taking a step back so she was pressed against the wall, her hands sandwiched between her rear and the drywall.

Pete shrugged, his pale eyes rimmed with red from drink and his usually fair skin flushed. He pushed the dark bangs from his face with a shaking hand and pushed the other into the pocket of his blazer. Dom eyed his hand and he pulled out a small baggy closed with a twisty tie. White powder filled the small bubble and he held it out to her.

“Luke wanted me to give it to you.” He grabbed her arm roughly and placed it in her palm. “He said you can thank him later.”

“I don’t want it,” Dom tried to force it back to him but he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shook his head.

“I can’t go back with it, he’ll be pissed.”

“So what, I don’t want it!” she took a step toward him but he stepped away with another shake of his head. Before she could make another move he back away, jogging toward the nearest exit and leaving her alone in the dark hallway. She rolled the small bag in her palm, her fingers pressing into the powder unconsciously as she played with it. Biting her lip she closed her hand around the little ball and made her way to the employee room to grab her things.

______________

“You’re quiet,” Nat pushed Dom’s shoulder as they sat across from each other on the couch. Nat had her knees pulled to her chest, her torso hunched forward as she painted her toenails. Dom had her legs tucked beneath her, her hands folded in the pouch of one of Gerard’s black hoodies she’d stolen from him. Beneath the fabric her hands continued to roll the small baggie of powder. She could feel the plastic stretching and growing weaker under her fingertips. She knew if she played with it too much it would burst all over her clothes.

“Nikki?” Nat pushed her again; this time her eyes snapped onto her and her hands went still.

“Natalie.”

“Uh oh,” Nat grinned, adding the last coat of blue to her toes. “I’m in trouble again.”

“Don’t call me Nikki,” Dom warned.

“Why not?”

Dom’s face darkened, her eyebrows pulling together. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sighing, Nat rolled her eyes, capping the nail polish and tossing it back on the coffee table. She leaned forward, blowing her toes and wiggling them before returning her gaze to Dom.

“You know, Frank told me why you hate being called Pumpkin.” She raised her eyebrows, knowing Dom would react to the news.

Just as anticipated, a sigh rushed from her and she pulled her hand out of her sweatshirt and rubbed her forehead. “Did he?”

“Mhmm.” Nat nodded. “He told me you hate being called that because Mikey gave it to you after Gerard said that stupid phrase he made up once when he was drunk. What is it again?”

Dom shook her head but Nat continued anyway.

“Shit’s easy peasy pumpkin peasy. Pumpkin pie, motherfucker,” she giggled, pretending to do her best drunk Gerard impression.

Dom frowned. “That’s not funny, Nat. He had a problem and it almost killed him.”

“I know.” Nat continued to giggle. “It was kind of funny though, admit it.”

“No.” Dom shook her head. “It makes me sad seeing him like that. And it wasn’t funny when Mikey and the guys started calling me that because of it.”

“That’s not why you hate it though,” Nat grinned at her.

“Then why do I hate it, Oh Brilliant One?”

“Because it makes you think of Mikey and what happened between you two. You hate it because you don’t love him back.”

Dom scowled and shook her head, “ Don’t tell me how I feel.”

She knew Nat was grinning at her. The bitch always knew exactly how she was feeling. She stiffened when she leaned forward, tugging at the front of her sweatshirt.

“What are you playing with under there?”

“Nothing.”

“Nikki, show me!” she tried to pull her hand out, Dom’s fist tightening around the little ball.

“No, it’s nothing.” She pulled away. “Please don’t call me Nikki.”

The pout formed at the corner of Nat’s mouth but she remained adamant, her hand fisted tightly in the hoodie. Nat rocked back so she was on her side of the couch again and patted the cushion. Relenting, Dom slid over, resting her head on her roommate’s shoulder.

“How about you? Have you made up with Frank? Are you perfect again?” she asked, looking up at Nat’s smooth face. “Please tell me you are.”

She giggled and nodded, “Yes, we’re prefect again… until he does something stupid on tour.”

“Don’t say that!” Dom groaned. “I can’t take when you two fight. It’ so pointless.”

“Well, I’m sorry but I need to be mad at him sometimes. Just to keep it spicy,” she laughed. Her fingers slid into Dom’s hair, combing through the knots. Dom closed her eyes, enjoying the gentle tugging of her roommate’s fingers. The two remained silent, Dom’s mind wandering to Gee. Their fights were never to keep things spicy. They fought to fight. She fought to see his aggressive side. She enjoyed his roughness because he always treated her like a wilting flower.

“You’re thinking about Gerard,” Nat whispered.

“How do you do that?” Dom asked, looking up at her again. “Know exactly what I’m thinking.”

Nat smiled and shrugged, “Well, now that I know about you two, you always make this face when you’re thinking about him. Like you’re pained but happy. It’s like a nightmare that you don’t want to wake up from. It’s twisted but you like it.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Dom muttered, rubbing her eye. “Nat, he hasn’t called me, he hasn’t done anything. They both hate me.”

Nat squeezed her in a tight hug. “Don’t think that, sweetie. Don’t. They love you, they’re just trying to figure it out. Don’t make this your fault. If you love him, you love him and that’s all there is.”

“But if I stay with him it hurts Mikey. I can’t do that, Nat. Mikey’s my friend. My best friend,” she sniffed. “I can’t keep crying over this.”

“Then don’t,” Nat advised. “Make up your mind and stick to it.”

With that she stood, leaving Dom sprawled across the couch. She pressed her lips to Dom’s temple and patted her shoulder before making her way through the dimmed apartment to go to bed. Dom sighed, rolling onto her back. She pulled the little baggy out of her pouch holding it up to her eyes. She rolled it in her hand one more time, lowering her face into the fabric of the sweatshirt. She loved the sweatshirt because no matter how many times she washed it still kept a hint of Gerard’s scent. She closed her eyes and breathed it in, the dryer sheets mixed with the underlying hint of his skin.

“What the hell,” she breathed. Her hand closed around the bag again and she sat up, stuffing the thing in her pouch before rolling off the couch and shuffling into her room.