“Korra! Wake up!” My brother’s voice sounded frantic and he looked even worse when I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me, his entire body coated in sweat. He hadn’t been wearing a shirt and his dark hair was stringy and in his face. His blue eyes were wide and bloodshot and he looked terrified.

“What’s going on?”

“Get dressed, we have to go.” Was the only explanation he offered me before he disappeared from my bedroom, my white, colorless bedroom.

After I got dressed Daniel dragged me outside into the night and shoved me into our only car. He tossed a pack into the back seat and tore away from the curb, heading straight toward the main highway, Route Guano. He drove silently for over an hour before even looking at me. I just kept my hands in my lap and my eyes on the road. I knew not to question him. The women of the city were only meant to breed and perform their assigned duties, no questions asked. But something was different about Daniel and I wanted to know why.

“Korra, I know you’re not medicated,” were his first words to me and I froze. Of course I was medicated.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I kept my eyes on my hands but he kept talking.

“No, you’re not. Not as heavily at least. I’ve been weaning you off them.”

“I’m sorry?”

“There’s so much you need to know and there’s not enough time to explain.” He reached across to me and cupped my chin. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want to know anymore so I looked him straight in the eyes. They were alive and energetic not like they’d been before. His cheeks were flushed and he had a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He looked so alive, so free.

“You—you’re not…” I couldn’t even string a sentence together but he nodded regardless.

“No, haven’t been for almost a year now. It’s time you unlocked the hold on you too. You’re old enough now to fight.”

“Fight? Fight what?”

“Fight back. Agaisnt BLI.”

I didn’t even want to fathom what he meant by that. Surely not what I thought. Because joining the fight only lead to starvation or death. “What about Mom? Where is she? What’s going on?” My questions flew before I could check myself but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he smiled.

“Our mother is dying, Korra. There’s nothing we can do to save her. She’s probably already dead. Don’t fear your curiosity. You’ll remember soon.”

“Remember?”

“How you used to be.”

The confusion tied my tongue and I knew he knew it. He patted my knee and focused back on the long stretch of highway before us. I closed my eyes and tried to make head or tail of what Daniel told me but nothing made sense. How was I not medicated? I could still feel the haze on my mind. The urges to run back to my white bedroom and curl into my black covers were almost irresistible. But then again, there was another part of my mind coming free, a pushy side I never felt. It wanted to know more. It wanted me to ask questions and state my opinion. It wanted me to be bold and adventurous and break something. It wanted to be free.

“You remember, don’t you? That’s why you don’t sleep,” Daniel muttered suddenly and I opened my eyes. “You remember our childhood before the war. The peace and the fun we used to have. You remember our father.”

The drugged side of me told me to keep my mouth shut and deny it, but this newer, freer side opened my mouth and admitted it. “I don’t remember a lot, but yes, I remember being… happy.”

Daniel looked at me and the corners of his lips turned up. He was smiling, a real, genuine smile that lit up his eyes. “Good. I’m proud of you. You’re learning quickly.”

“Learning what?”

“Yourself. Your true self, not the corrected drone they turned you into. You’re becoming the Reaper you were born to be.”

“The what?”

But he didn’t have a chance to explain because something took out our tires and sent us spinning into oblivion. The car jerked and we skidded off the road into the sand and rubble. My side of the car slammed into a massive rock, forcing my head to whack against the window. Glass shattered and the airbag deployed and there was nothing but chaos. I heard Daniel mutter something about Dracs and he pushed something into my hand but my vision faded. All I heard was a strangled war cry and then my world went blank.

_______________________________________________________________________

When I woke up I was still squished in the twisted metal of our car. Every inch of my body pounded with pain but I could hear people shuffling around in the sand around the car. After a lot of wriggling and groaning I managed to get my body free and crawled across to the open driver side door. I fell face first into the sand but I couldn’t stop there. No matter how much pain I was in or how bloody my arms and face were, I forced myself to stand and held up the object Daniel had slipped me. It was a ray gun, a black painted gun that had been issued by the BLI. I could see where the smiley face logo had been painted over. Instead of the face there was a perfect white circle in what rested a red scythe. A white and red stripe adorned the side of the gun and the trigger was painted a dark gray. Without even thinking about it I knew that this was my gun.

Shuffling behind the car distracted me so I crouched and shuffled around toward the trunk where the noise was loudest. A flickering fire was burning around which a handful of Dracs lay sprawled. Scorch marks were everywhere and beside the fire lay my older brother, his head propped against a rock and his hands, shaking and coated in blood, where clutching at his abdomen.

“Daniel!” I rushed to him but he was already drifting. The wound in his stomach was severe and not even my skill as a nurse could save him. He looked right at me with those soul searching blue eyes and smiled.

“Remember who you are, Rev. You’ve got too.”

“Rev?”

“Just remember,” he stammered and coughed, a trickle of blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth.

“Daniel, don’t.” I ripped one of my sleeves from my dress and pressed it to the wound as hard as I could but he pushed me away.

“It’s too late, Korra. Everything you need is in the pack. You’ll understand. This had to happen.”

“NO!”

He coughed again, this time with more blood bubbling from his throat and he laid his head back and closed his eyes. I tried everything to revive him but nothing worked. For the first time I felt grief in full force. No grief pills to cloud the pain. Tears soaked my cheeks and I curled up beside my big brother, hugging him as his body went still and the life I’d seen in his eyes just hours before left them blank and staring. I didn’t think pain and suffering would be my first resounding emotions upon freedom of correction but it helped me learn what love really felt like. It wasn’t a fabricated obligation; it was an affection that I couldn’t even explain.

When the life left those blue eyes my chest seized up and I crumpled beside him. I didn’t care about the sand in uncomfortable places or the blood caking to my skin. I just cried. I lost track of time as I mourned and I knew in the back of my mind that something was bound to happen if I didn’t run. It took all my strength to stand up and gather the pack from the car. Wiping tears from my face I took what was left of the fire and set it to my brother’s body. It hurt even more to smell his burning flesh but I had to get rid of it before the Dracs caught up. So I burned everything, even the car. It took a while for the fire to hit the gas tank so I was a long stretch away when it finally exploded, but I knew that the blast would attract someone. This desert wasn’t empty. There were Killjoys constantly looking for any sign of movement from the City. And I’d just fed them something. If joining the fight was what my brother wanted me to do, then I would. I would fight for him.

When I curled up in the little sleeping bag Daniel had stuffed in the pack I vowed on his firey grave: I was going to avenge my brother and my family if it was the last thing I did. And the only way to do that was by taking down the BLI.