Bulletproof Heart
Chapter 17
"Mom?" I asked turning to face her.
"Hey." She said like we have seen and talked to each other every day.
"Hi, Tammy and I were just leaving so... bye." Frankie said pushing me out of the door, when we were outside he held my hand and started tugging me down to his car.
"Tammy wait!" My mom called out after us and I stopped.
"What?"
"Can I meet my grandchild?" She asked.
Why fuck is everything about my damn dead baby? Can we consider how hearing about her makes me feel? Can we just move on? Can I move on? Every time I try, something or someone brings her up and shoves it in my face that I don't have her.
"No you cant." I said and started to walk again.
"Tammy can you please be mature about this?" She said pulling my arm and forcing me to look at her.
"I can do whatever the hell I want I'm 19 not a 9 year old. And if I cant meet her why the fuck should you."
"What do you mean you cant meet her?" She asked wide eyed.
"If you were a good mother, hell, if you were even a mother to me, you would have known that 3 months ago Gerard proposed, and as we were driving home Rick, the boy you love so much, purposely drove into us, killing my daughter!" I yelled, people were looking at us but I didn't care.
"I.... I didn't know." She said.
"Fuck off." I said then grabbed Frankie's hand and headed into the car.
"You okay?" He asked eying me.
"Yeah." I breathed out, I pulled out another cig and shared it with Frankie, "It felt good to tell her off."
"Where to know?" He asked taking a drag.
"I have a gynecology appointment, wanna drop me off?"
"Gynecology? Are you.....?" He trialed off.
"No." I sighed, my doctor wants to check with since Sarah." I said.
"Okay, lady doctor it is." He said and took off that direction, when we had reached the doctor he parked and started to get out with me.
"You don't have to come in with me."
"I got nothing better to do." He said lazily and kept walking with me.
When we got there we had to sit in the waiting room for 20 minutes because my doctor was finishing up with a pregnant woman. I didn't really care. But because of my amazing luck, Mikey and Alicia walked out, followed by my doctor. I muttered a 'fuck me' and Frank gave me a look, but when he saw Mikey and Alicia, he understood.
"Mrs.Way?" My doctor asked.
Mikey started scanning the room when he heard 'Way' and when he found me he gave me a sad smile. He and Alicia came over to Frankie and I.
"Tammy!" He said and pulled me into a hug, I hugged him back.
"Hey Mikes."
"What are you doing here? Where's Gerard? Your not pregnant are you?" He asked.
"I am not pregnant, Gerard is in school, and this is just a check up to make sure everything is good." I answered. I turned to Alicia, her baby bump was showing, she must be between 3-4 months along. I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous.
"Hey." She said.
"Hi, how far along are you?" I asked.
"13 week."
"Just over 3 months, congratulations." I said
"Mrs.Way?" The doctor asks again.
"We have to go, but you guys should come over for dinner sometime." I said as we walked passed them and into the room.
Frankie was with me when the doctor took a look and me, she went to go do something leaving Frankie and me alone so I could dress. Being a gentlemen he looked away. About 10 minutes after I had gotten dress the doctor knocked then came back in.
"Well Mrs.Way everything looks good." She said smiling, "And if you and your husband want," Frankie raised an eyebrow at husband, "You may start trying again."
"Trying again?" I asked.
"Yes for a baby, your body is ready for it."
"Yeah my body might be, but my mind isn't."
"I understand." She gave me a sad smile, then Frankie and I left. We were walking up the stairs and he stopped at his door and started to go in.
"You don't wanna come over."
"Nah, I wanna have sex with my husband." He said.
"Way to much info, " I said walking away.
"Oh yeah cause Ray and I didn't hear what you guys did this morning!" He called after me.
I laughed and went into my apartment. I was surprised when I saw Gee in the kitchen cooking something. I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around him from behind and hugged him tightly.
"Hey babe." He said turning to kiss me. "Where have you been?" He asked.
"Out with Frankie." I answered then hopped up on the counter.
"So I wanna talk to you about something." He said coming over to me. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me so I was pushed up right against him, I ran my hands through his hair and he closed his eyes, obviously enjoying it.
"What?" I asked.
"Lets get married."
"We already are getting married dumbass." I said laughing
"I mean eloped, I dont want a big wedding and I wanna marry you now."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, I mean if your okay with it." He said.
"Why the hell not." I said kissing him.
"So Saturday?"
"Saturday I agreed.
"Hey." She said like we have seen and talked to each other every day.
"Hi, Tammy and I were just leaving so... bye." Frankie said pushing me out of the door, when we were outside he held my hand and started tugging me down to his car.
"Tammy wait!" My mom called out after us and I stopped.
"What?"
"Can I meet my grandchild?" She asked.
Why fuck is everything about my damn dead baby? Can we consider how hearing about her makes me feel? Can we just move on? Can I move on? Every time I try, something or someone brings her up and shoves it in my face that I don't have her.
"No you cant." I said and started to walk again.
"Tammy can you please be mature about this?" She said pulling my arm and forcing me to look at her.
"I can do whatever the hell I want I'm 19 not a 9 year old. And if I cant meet her why the fuck should you."
"What do you mean you cant meet her?" She asked wide eyed.
"If you were a good mother, hell, if you were even a mother to me, you would have known that 3 months ago Gerard proposed, and as we were driving home Rick, the boy you love so much, purposely drove into us, killing my daughter!" I yelled, people were looking at us but I didn't care.
"I.... I didn't know." She said.
"Fuck off." I said then grabbed Frankie's hand and headed into the car.
"You okay?" He asked eying me.
"Yeah." I breathed out, I pulled out another cig and shared it with Frankie, "It felt good to tell her off."
"Where to know?" He asked taking a drag.
"I have a gynecology appointment, wanna drop me off?"
"Gynecology? Are you.....?" He trialed off.
"No." I sighed, my doctor wants to check with since Sarah." I said.
"Okay, lady doctor it is." He said and took off that direction, when we had reached the doctor he parked and started to get out with me.
"You don't have to come in with me."
"I got nothing better to do." He said lazily and kept walking with me.
When we got there we had to sit in the waiting room for 20 minutes because my doctor was finishing up with a pregnant woman. I didn't really care. But because of my amazing luck, Mikey and Alicia walked out, followed by my doctor. I muttered a 'fuck me' and Frank gave me a look, but when he saw Mikey and Alicia, he understood.
"Mrs.Way?" My doctor asked.
Mikey started scanning the room when he heard 'Way' and when he found me he gave me a sad smile. He and Alicia came over to Frankie and I.
"Tammy!" He said and pulled me into a hug, I hugged him back.
"Hey Mikes."
"What are you doing here? Where's Gerard? Your not pregnant are you?" He asked.
"I am not pregnant, Gerard is in school, and this is just a check up to make sure everything is good." I answered. I turned to Alicia, her baby bump was showing, she must be between 3-4 months along. I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous.
"Hey." She said.
"Hi, how far along are you?" I asked.
"13 week."
"Just over 3 months, congratulations." I said
"Mrs.Way?" The doctor asks again.
"We have to go, but you guys should come over for dinner sometime." I said as we walked passed them and into the room.
Frankie was with me when the doctor took a look and me, she went to go do something leaving Frankie and me alone so I could dress. Being a gentlemen he looked away. About 10 minutes after I had gotten dress the doctor knocked then came back in.
"Well Mrs.Way everything looks good." She said smiling, "And if you and your husband want," Frankie raised an eyebrow at husband, "You may start trying again."
"Trying again?" I asked.
"Yes for a baby, your body is ready for it."
"Yeah my body might be, but my mind isn't."
"I understand." She gave me a sad smile, then Frankie and I left. We were walking up the stairs and he stopped at his door and started to go in.
"You don't wanna come over."
"Nah, I wanna have sex with my husband." He said.
"Way to much info, " I said walking away.
"Oh yeah cause Ray and I didn't hear what you guys did this morning!" He called after me.
I laughed and went into my apartment. I was surprised when I saw Gee in the kitchen cooking something. I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around him from behind and hugged him tightly.
"Hey babe." He said turning to kiss me. "Where have you been?" He asked.
"Out with Frankie." I answered then hopped up on the counter.
"So I wanna talk to you about something." He said coming over to me. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me so I was pushed up right against him, I ran my hands through his hair and he closed his eyes, obviously enjoying it.
"What?" I asked.
"Lets get married."
"We already are getting married dumbass." I said laughing
"I mean eloped, I dont want a big wedding and I wanna marry you now."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, I mean if your okay with it." He said.
"Why the hell not." I said kissing him.
"So Saturday?"
"Saturday I agreed.
Notes
Yea I know its kinda short and meaningless but I needed a filler, so I'm kinda running out of inspiration, so I might end it soon.Till next we meet my killjoys
rick is the name of my half brother...
1/11/14