*************3 Months Later************

Life goes on.

I never understood that expression until now, things were getting easier, not by much, but still easier. Gerard was doing a lot better, he went back to school, sometimes he would go out with friends, I didn't. I stayed at home most of the time or spent time with Frankie. I had taken a big break on college and I probably would repeat my freshman year online.

But I stopped crying so much, I showered more often I made myself somewhat presentable, I started doing my hair again, I stopped wearing sweats, I still didn't bother with makeup though.

"Tammy?" Gerard said one day coming back from school, I was sitting on the sofa.

"What?"

"Do you wanna have dinner with my family tonight?" He asked, I hadn't seen his family since before the accident, I texted Mikey a few time, but I hadn't talked to his parents. Ge told me he stayed at his parents house for a few nights. So they knew.

"I dont know...." I said.

"Well I'm going, I would like you to come." He said.

"Fine. When?"

"Bout 20 minutes."

"Thanks for the heads up." I said irritated and took a shower.

When I was in the shower, I washed my hair and body, I started crying when I ran my hand over my flattened stomach.

"Tammy...:?" Gee hesitated as he came in the bathroom.

"Y-yeah." I said trying to hide the fact that I as crying.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Soap in my eyes." I lied.

"Your a terrible liar." He said shutting the door. I thought he had left so I started to cry again, was surprised when the shower curtain opened, I covered my chest and turned to see naked Gerard climbing in. I kept my chest covered as he came closer to me and wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on top of mine. We hadnt done anything sexual since before the accident.

"Do you ever think about her?" I asked. He pulled away and looked at me.

"All the time. I wonder what she would look like, what she would be wearing, " Hearing him was making tears swell in my eyes, "What her smile would look like, but I mostly think about what her name would be."

We hadn't chosen a name for her.

"I think it would have started with a S."

"Stacy?"

"Yeah I could have been Stacy's mom, I would have had it going on." I smiled at my own joke and he laughed.

"Samantha?"

"Too long."

"You can help." He said laughing.

"I know." I said hugging him.

"Sarah?"

I liked that.

"Sarah Way, I like that."

"What about a middle name?" He asked.

"Lauren." I said without thinking.

"Sarah Lauren Way, it fit's, I like it, I think she would have liked it to." I stayed quite. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." And I was, "I think giving her a name is giving me some closuer." I said.

"I'm glad." He said and kissed me, he ran his hand along my back. "This reminds me of the night we got together."

"I remember, I split water all over you and you sprayed me till I was really wet." I smiled.

"Lets get out of here." He said turning the water off.

We got out and dried off, I did my hair and clothes and considered doing my makeup, I didn't. The drive there was silent, Gee and I split a cig on the way there. It had been a while since I had had some, I missed it so badly I made him stop at a gas station so I could buy myself a pack. I was nervouse to see his family, Gee noticed when we were waiting for them to answer the door.

"Everything is gonna be fine. Alicia will be here." He said.

"Alicia?"

"Mikey's girlfriend? They've been dating for like 7 months now."

"Oh yeah!" I said remembering "I like her."

"You sure you barley remember her." He said smiling, I smiled to as Donna opened the door.

"Tammy!" She said pulling me into a tight hug, like really tight, I didn't mind though. I really liked it, and I hugged her back.

"Well just ignor the one you gave birth to." Gee said making Donna laugh and pull away from me and give her son a hug. She turned back to me and gave me a sad look, I looked away knowing I would cry again.

"Mom..." Gerard warned.

"I know, I just-" She didn't finish her sentence, she just walked into the house. We followed her. When we walked into the living room everyone fell silent and stared at me. I felt really awkward and turned away. The silence was broken by Mikey.

"Tammy!" He said pulling me into a big hug, I hugged him back, "I've missed you." He said.

"I've missed you to kid." I told him.

"Seriously guy! Am I really that unimportant?" Gee complained getting a laugh from everyone, which eased the tension in the room.

We had normal conversions, at one point Gee took Mikey away and gave him a serious look when he was talking to him. When I asked him what that was about he shrugged it off and said it was nothing. When are meal was finished, the boy's went into the living room to watch some sport while us girls did the dishes.

"Darn, I'm out of pie, I'm going to run to the store and pick some up, would you two mind finishing up?" Donna asked Alicia and I.

"Sure." We both said.

We carried out small conversations about they Way brother's, her and I would make good friends. We made up a joke and called our-self's the Way sisters.

"So, I kinda have some news sister." She said as I dried the last dish.

"And what would that be?" I smiled and handed her the dish to put away.

"I'm pregnant." She said smiling so big it could crack her face. My smiled dropped from my face, she saw and guilt instantly took over her face. "Oh god! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No it's fine," I said with a blurry vision, "C-congrats."

I didnt wait for her response I just walked out of the kitchen and outside. I took a seat on their porch chair and pulled my knee's to my chest and started to cry. Why is she pregnant and not me? This is so unfair. I cried some more.

After about 10 minutes, I had stopped crying and pulled out a cig and finished it quickly and started another. Gee had come outside by then.

"There you are." He said standing next to me.

"Here I am." I said taking a long drag.

"Alicia told me that you found out." He said.

"Yup." I said popping the p.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Why shouldnt I be? I lost my baby and your brother and girlfriend get one instead. Isn't life great." I said flicking the bud to the side. He sighed.

"Tammy-" He started.

"Don't, I was doing fine earlier, I just wanna pretend that never happened." I said, and stood up and walked past him and into the house. Not long after, Donna came back with the pie, Alicia tried talking to me, I just shrugged her off and didn't look at her the rest of the night. Gerard looked pissed.

Mikey tried talking to Gerard as we left but Gerard wouldn't talk to him. When we got home it was 11pm and we decided to go to bed. Gee just took off all of his clothes except his boxers and crawled under the sheets and turned off the lights, I sighed and removed all my clothes but my bra and underwear. I crawled on my side of the bed, Gee and I haven't had any physical contact while we slept, but now I felt naked without him.

I moved so I was almost completely laying on him, at first he was shocked and hesitate before pulling me closer to him. But her kissed my head and started playing with my hair.

"You shouldn't be mad at Mikey." I said.

He sighed, "I know."

"Good." I kissed him lightly, but it wasnt enough for me, I deepend the kiss and his lips moved in sych with me. But none of this was enough, I moved so I was straddling him. I started to grind on him and he moaned in response. He flipped us so he was on me and I was laying under him, he removed my underwear and bra quickly then his boxers.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Can you wear a condom?" I asked.

"Of cousre." He said and pulled one out of the nightstand and started into me.

****Sorry guys not in the sex decribing mood*****

Notes

Here ya go

Till next we meet my killjoys