"WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS" my alarm clock appropriately sang out, as today was the first of October. And I just woke up. Heh. Even I smiled at myself at that. But soon I was back to my normal depressing self, with a sad, empty expression on my face. Back to depressing frank. I haven't always been like this...not before Jamia. Pushing the thought of her out of my mind, I got ready for that shit hole they name school. I hated it. I was bullied. Teased for having my hair in a different style to "normal" people (short at the side and blonde,and a long black fringe), skitted at for having a lip ring, and made fun of for the drawings and lyrics covering my arms. Some day they'll be real I think to myself, some day. Then they won't laugh at me, I bet they'll be jealous. I soon realized I had gone off into a day dream,and school started in half an hour. I quickly put on guyliner, outlining it with red eyeshadow. I pulled on a misfits tee,black skinnys and converse. I was out the door in 10 minutes. I can get to school in 10 minutes no problem, I thought to myself. So I walked there even slower than my normal snails pace. It turned out,however,that I was 10 minutes late,and I arrived into 1st period with everyone staring at me as if I walked into the room naked with a box full of dildos screaming "FREE SEX TOYS FOR EVERYONE!!!!". I could imagine that, I could imagine Mr Reids reaction. I almost smiled. Almost. I walked to my seat, to find only Mikey Way sitting next to me. Great. Now I have the fucking saddest person ever sitting besides me. I grimaced. Sitting down, everyone around me started talking to their friends,and the teacher was busy frowning at someones homework. It was awkward,and I searched my brain for something to say. Anything. He might be sad but I hated awkward silences. Maybe even more than I hated spiders. "Hi" I said, probably the most boring thing I could think of saying. But it was a start. "Hey" he smiled at me. Poor kid. He's so sad. "Wait, do you like The Misfits?" He asked,sounding shocked and excited at the same time. No way did he like the misfits. I could imagine him listening to classical music in his spare time,but no fucking way would he listen to a band like the misfits. "Umm,yeah. They're my favorite band actually" I tried for a smile, but it looked like more of a frown. "No way! They're mine too! Either them or Black Flag or Green Day. Its hard to choose. And I'm a big Smashing Pumpkins fan too." I could hardly believe what I just heard. Him? Mikey way? Likes all those bands? I almost laughed. Almost. But I could hardly imagine Michael Way moshing in his bed room to Black Flag. No fucking way. "Wow, they're some of my favourite bands.." I said, trying to sound casual but I couldn't hide the shock in my voice. We spent most of the lesson talking about bands. And it turned out we had second period together,too. He also had an amazing taste in films, and we were in the middle of a massive discussion on Star Wars when the teacher coughed for our attention and we had to whisper. We sat together at lunch. And after school he asked if I wanted to come over for the night. It was Friday,so my mum would agree. She did,and Mikey called his brother to pick us up from school. I've never seen Mikeys brother,but hell,had I heard rumours about him. Apparently he lives in the basement and slits his wrists. according to rumours he's also gay,and he's tried to commit suicide. I shivered. Jamia committed suicide. But I wasn't going to judge,as I've self harmed,and I've felt suicidal. Also I'm gay. Heh. When I first saw Gerard my mouth went into a perfect 'O' shape. He was gorgeous. Wait,fuck that,he was fucking stunning and beautiful and all I wanted to do was stare at him. I wanted to do a lot more to him too, but I kept that at the back of my mind otherwise I would risk getting a boner. Heh. I took in every inch of him. His pure white skin, raven black hair,and I noticed how greasy it was. Usually I would find that disgusting in guys. But on gerard it just looked hot. I wanted to mess up his hair even more,and drag my hands through it an- fuck. I need to stop thinking of this. I'm in serious danger of getting a boner. In the middle of the school car park. And then I realized for the past 2 minutes I was staring at Gerard with my mouth hanging open and mikey jabbing me in the side,trying to get my attention. I hid my blush and followed mikey into the back of the car. Then I realized that someone was in the passenger seat,and even though I'm gay,I have to admit,she was beautiful. I instantly assumed she was Gerards girlfriend and I felt a surge of anger,jealously and betrayal surge through me. I don't even know Gerard and I already feel protective over him. Fuck. No wonder all my ex boyfriends have broken up with me. I'm a control freak. Gerard seemed shy,and all I wanted to do was hug him and kiss him and tell him there's nothing to be shy of. "So, who are you?" Gerard turned around,taking his eyes off the road for a moment and staring at me. I felt ridiculously self conscious all of a sudden. "Uh,Frank" I said,and I worried that I had forgotten my name. It sounded weird. I don't know. "Cool. I'm gerard, and this is Lyn-Z." he said, nodding at the girl sitting beside him. She smiled up at him. She was so in love with him. I just wanted to punch that fucking stupid smile off her face. Ugh. However gerard didn't seem to notice her at all,and I felt hopeful all of a sudden. I'm so pathetic,oh god. "Awesome" I smiled. Wait. Did I just smile? Oh my god. I just smiled. Even mikey looked shocked, because all of my school knew about my depression over the last year. Oh. We dropped Lyn-Z off at her home and I smiled again. Yup. Go away you stupid slut. I wanted to say it to her face but I worried about gerards reaction so I bit my tongue until we got to frank&gerards. Only then did I realize they only lived round the corner from me. That's good to know. We walked in their home and we all sat on a ridiculously big sofa. Their house wasn't big,however,and it looked like mine a lot. Gerard was asking a lot of questions about me,and he actually seemed curious. I smiled again. "Frank. Uh. You're smiling" said Mikey,confused. I knew I had to tell them. "Ok guys. There's something that happened last year.." I began my story. The story of how I made my best friend commit suicide.