Endless Possibilities (On Hiatus)
Chapter 4
I should have said no to Mom. I really should have. Because the whole next month is filled with work. I have to actually apply for the college, whose application deadline has already passed. What this means is that I have to pay a late fee, which my sleezeball stepdad says is my responsibility. Apparently since he’s paying for tuition anything else has to be gotten by me. And I have to get a job to do it. I don’t mind that too much, except that the only place hiring is the Italian restaurant downtown. The one where Sean works.
My appearance hinders my work options there, and they appoint me as a dishwasher. It’s not so bad, but it leads to a lot of teasing from a certain waiter. I really want to just punch him. I know he’s still seeing Jamia. He reminds me frequently enough.
It takes way too much time to get enough money, and then I have to go on a hunt for my transcript. And take the ACT, which I haven’t done yet because I wasn’t planning on going to college. Add that to my bill. I’m totally exhausted by the time I actually send in the application. I have a lot of doubts about whether or not they’ll actually accept me. I’m not exactly the model student. It’s gonna suck if they reject me. I’ve been going through way to much trouble to try to go. And to top it all off I’ve barely been able to see Gerard at all.
I’m lounging on my bed on my day off, half enjoying the relaxation. Being the end of June, the weather has decided to be unnecessarily hot. And all my room has is a tiny fan. Plus, I’m constantly worrying. What will I even do if I’m accepted? There’s still all the books I’ll have to buy, and I have a feeling Mr. High and Mighty isn’t planning on stopping my misery there.
My phone starts ringing, breaking through my thoughts. I see that it’s Gerard from the caller ID and answer quickly, “Hey, Gee.”
“You sound so glum,” he says. His voice is extremely welcome in my ear, “What’s wrong?”
I sigh, “What isn’t wrong? My life’s been taken over by my ex-girlfriend’s dad. I’m going to a college that I don’t even want to. I’m working at the same place as my sister’s douchebag boyfriend. Do I even need to go on?”
“No. Frankie, you’ve been way too stressed out lately. Why don’t you come over today and…Unwind.”
Something in his voice makes me shiver. I can tell what he means. It’s finally going to happen. He’s going to sleep with me, “Yeah, that sounds great.”
It doesn’t take long to have my things gathered and tell Mom where I’m going. And then I’m off through the thin row of trees that separates our houses. In no time at all I’m at his doorstep. I ring the bell and he answers the door smiling.
“Hey Frankie.”
“Hi,” I grab him into a hug and breath in his scent. I already feel more relaxed.
He grabs my hand and gently tugs me inside, “Let’s go down to my room.”
My heart suddenly speeds up and my hands feel clammy. His room. I’ve been waiting for this day, but now I wonder if I’m really ready for it. I totally sound like a teenage girl about to lose her virginity, but…That’s because I practically am. Except for the being a girl part. But I could be overreacting…Maybe he didn’t mean what I thought he meant over the phone. In that case, I shouldn’t be worried at all.
He sits on his bed and pulls me down with him, snuggling me close, “I’ve missed you.”
I smile, “You just saw me last week.”
“That doesn’t count. You just stopped by on your way home from work.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve missed you too. You’re my stress relief.”
He laughs, “Oh, joy. I’ve been demoted from boyfriend to stress reliever.”
I pull away and look at him. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles makes me want to kiss him, so I do, “You’re my boyfriend and my stress relief. I love you either way.”
“I love you, too, Frankie,” He leans in to kiss me again, and it begins. It starts as just an innocent little kiss, but soon it deepens. Our tongues play a happy little game as he moves me onto my back. The pounding in my chest is back, but I’ve wanted him to be intimate with me for too long to let my fear take over. I shiver as his hands find their way up my shirt, ghosting over the sensitive skin underneath.
I’m not really sure what I should be doing. I’ve never been with a person in this way before. Luckily my instincts take over, and soon Gerard and I are both shirtless, panting for air after separating from our kiss. I just stare up into his eyes, sure that he’s thinking the same thing I am. There’s no going back from here, so if it’s a mistake then it’s going to be made. I make a resolve within myself that I won’t regret it either way. Then I dive back into him.
This time he begins kissing my neck and moving his hips against mine. It feels so good. All I can do is pant and make little whimpering noises. My eyes close of their own accord and I find myself throwing my head back to give him a better angle. I feel a small pop at my waist and realize he’s undone the button on my jeans. God, this is moving so fast. And I love it. I move my own hands down to his waist and gently undo his clasp. Then we both start pushing at each other’s jeans, trying desperately to remove the horribly restricting barrier.
Then I hear it. The click of the bedroom door, and an all too familiar voice, “Hey, Gee, do you…Oh, fuck, sorry!”
The door slams, leaving me red faced and glaring at Gerard, “You didn’t tell Mikey I was coming over?!”
He shrugs as if it really doesn’t matter, “I didn’t want him to get jealous. You haven’t exactly been spending time with him either.”
All of a sudden I feel like the worst friend in the world. I can’t believe I finally got a day off from worrying about my future and I decided to come see my boyfriend who I’ll be with for the foreseeable future instead of my best friend who’s moving in just a short month. He must be pissed at me. I gently push Gerard off me and start pulling my clothes back on.
“Now I’ve gotta go talk to him. Thanks, Gerard.”
He has a horror stricken face. He looks between me and the very obvious problem he’s sporting in his boxers. I don’t see how it’s still there. Being caught by Mikey has me totally soft.
“But…Frank!”
“You brought this on yourself, Gerard. I’ll be back.”
I leave him and go up to Mikey’s room with a sheepish grin on my face, “Uh…hey, Mikes.”
He looks up from where his face is buried in a pillow, “I will never unsee that.”
I go in and sit on his bed, “Yeah…sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know I was here.”
He shrugs, “I think I’d rather have not known. You could’ve at least locked the door.”
“It was stupid of me to even be in there. Gerard’s gonna be around for a while. You’re moving soon. I should be spending more time with you.”
He looks down suddenly and shrugs again, “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t been through before.”
Oh, god. I completely forgot about that, “Mikey, I…I promise it’s not like that. I’m not blowing you off as a friend.”
To my surprise, he laughs, “Frank, it’s okay. You’re in the puppy love stage still, I can tell. It’ll mellow out soon and then you won’t be so attached to Gerard’s side.”
He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than stating a fact. I put a hand on his shoulder, “Why don’t you come over to my house? I know Mom won’t care. It’ll just be you, me, and a ton of video games and horror films.”
A smile finds its way onto his lips, “Yeah, okay. Let me ask Mom and then we can go. You can go tell Gee so he doesn’t think you disappeared.”
I nod and head downstairs. It doesn’t dawn on me just what state I left him in until I’m outside the door and hear the moaning, “Oh, fuck. Frankie…” My cheeks fill with heat and I run back up the stairs. I’ll just text him later. He’ll understand.
My appearance hinders my work options there, and they appoint me as a dishwasher. It’s not so bad, but it leads to a lot of teasing from a certain waiter. I really want to just punch him. I know he’s still seeing Jamia. He reminds me frequently enough.
It takes way too much time to get enough money, and then I have to go on a hunt for my transcript. And take the ACT, which I haven’t done yet because I wasn’t planning on going to college. Add that to my bill. I’m totally exhausted by the time I actually send in the application. I have a lot of doubts about whether or not they’ll actually accept me. I’m not exactly the model student. It’s gonna suck if they reject me. I’ve been going through way to much trouble to try to go. And to top it all off I’ve barely been able to see Gerard at all.
I’m lounging on my bed on my day off, half enjoying the relaxation. Being the end of June, the weather has decided to be unnecessarily hot. And all my room has is a tiny fan. Plus, I’m constantly worrying. What will I even do if I’m accepted? There’s still all the books I’ll have to buy, and I have a feeling Mr. High and Mighty isn’t planning on stopping my misery there.
My phone starts ringing, breaking through my thoughts. I see that it’s Gerard from the caller ID and answer quickly, “Hey, Gee.”
“You sound so glum,” he says. His voice is extremely welcome in my ear, “What’s wrong?”
I sigh, “What isn’t wrong? My life’s been taken over by my ex-girlfriend’s dad. I’m going to a college that I don’t even want to. I’m working at the same place as my sister’s douchebag boyfriend. Do I even need to go on?”
“No. Frankie, you’ve been way too stressed out lately. Why don’t you come over today and…Unwind.”
Something in his voice makes me shiver. I can tell what he means. It’s finally going to happen. He’s going to sleep with me, “Yeah, that sounds great.”
It doesn’t take long to have my things gathered and tell Mom where I’m going. And then I’m off through the thin row of trees that separates our houses. In no time at all I’m at his doorstep. I ring the bell and he answers the door smiling.
“Hey Frankie.”
“Hi,” I grab him into a hug and breath in his scent. I already feel more relaxed.
He grabs my hand and gently tugs me inside, “Let’s go down to my room.”
My heart suddenly speeds up and my hands feel clammy. His room. I’ve been waiting for this day, but now I wonder if I’m really ready for it. I totally sound like a teenage girl about to lose her virginity, but…That’s because I practically am. Except for the being a girl part. But I could be overreacting…Maybe he didn’t mean what I thought he meant over the phone. In that case, I shouldn’t be worried at all.
He sits on his bed and pulls me down with him, snuggling me close, “I’ve missed you.”
I smile, “You just saw me last week.”
“That doesn’t count. You just stopped by on your way home from work.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve missed you too. You’re my stress relief.”
He laughs, “Oh, joy. I’ve been demoted from boyfriend to stress reliever.”
I pull away and look at him. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles makes me want to kiss him, so I do, “You’re my boyfriend and my stress relief. I love you either way.”
“I love you, too, Frankie,” He leans in to kiss me again, and it begins. It starts as just an innocent little kiss, but soon it deepens. Our tongues play a happy little game as he moves me onto my back. The pounding in my chest is back, but I’ve wanted him to be intimate with me for too long to let my fear take over. I shiver as his hands find their way up my shirt, ghosting over the sensitive skin underneath.
I’m not really sure what I should be doing. I’ve never been with a person in this way before. Luckily my instincts take over, and soon Gerard and I are both shirtless, panting for air after separating from our kiss. I just stare up into his eyes, sure that he’s thinking the same thing I am. There’s no going back from here, so if it’s a mistake then it’s going to be made. I make a resolve within myself that I won’t regret it either way. Then I dive back into him.
This time he begins kissing my neck and moving his hips against mine. It feels so good. All I can do is pant and make little whimpering noises. My eyes close of their own accord and I find myself throwing my head back to give him a better angle. I feel a small pop at my waist and realize he’s undone the button on my jeans. God, this is moving so fast. And I love it. I move my own hands down to his waist and gently undo his clasp. Then we both start pushing at each other’s jeans, trying desperately to remove the horribly restricting barrier.
Then I hear it. The click of the bedroom door, and an all too familiar voice, “Hey, Gee, do you…Oh, fuck, sorry!”
The door slams, leaving me red faced and glaring at Gerard, “You didn’t tell Mikey I was coming over?!”
He shrugs as if it really doesn’t matter, “I didn’t want him to get jealous. You haven’t exactly been spending time with him either.”
All of a sudden I feel like the worst friend in the world. I can’t believe I finally got a day off from worrying about my future and I decided to come see my boyfriend who I’ll be with for the foreseeable future instead of my best friend who’s moving in just a short month. He must be pissed at me. I gently push Gerard off me and start pulling my clothes back on.
“Now I’ve gotta go talk to him. Thanks, Gerard.”
He has a horror stricken face. He looks between me and the very obvious problem he’s sporting in his boxers. I don’t see how it’s still there. Being caught by Mikey has me totally soft.
“But…Frank!”
“You brought this on yourself, Gerard. I’ll be back.”
I leave him and go up to Mikey’s room with a sheepish grin on my face, “Uh…hey, Mikes.”
He looks up from where his face is buried in a pillow, “I will never unsee that.”
I go in and sit on his bed, “Yeah…sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know I was here.”
He shrugs, “I think I’d rather have not known. You could’ve at least locked the door.”
“It was stupid of me to even be in there. Gerard’s gonna be around for a while. You’re moving soon. I should be spending more time with you.”
He looks down suddenly and shrugs again, “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t been through before.”
Oh, god. I completely forgot about that, “Mikey, I…I promise it’s not like that. I’m not blowing you off as a friend.”
To my surprise, he laughs, “Frank, it’s okay. You’re in the puppy love stage still, I can tell. It’ll mellow out soon and then you won’t be so attached to Gerard’s side.”
He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than stating a fact. I put a hand on his shoulder, “Why don’t you come over to my house? I know Mom won’t care. It’ll just be you, me, and a ton of video games and horror films.”
A smile finds its way onto his lips, “Yeah, okay. Let me ask Mom and then we can go. You can go tell Gee so he doesn’t think you disappeared.”
I nod and head downstairs. It doesn’t dawn on me just what state I left him in until I’m outside the door and hear the moaning, “Oh, fuck. Frankie…” My cheeks fill with heat and I run back up the stairs. I’ll just text him later. He’ll understand.
Please please please pleeeeaaassseeee update !!!!
10/12/14