James Dewees only lived for one thing and one thing only; Ray Toro. Ray Toro was the reason he breathed, Ray Toro the reason he didn’t hang himself after every beating he took from his father, Ray Toro was the reason why he became so obsessed with the idea of becoming a musician - Ray Toro was the love of James’ life.

James wouldn’t have ever let Ray go once he got him; he promised himself this the day he asked Ray to be his boyfriend. James couldn’t loose Ray; he couldn’t loose the best thing in his life, he couldn’t lose the only thing keeping him holding onto the edge of humanity and least of all, he couldn’t loose his lover...

Ray loved James, he really did. Ray wanted to love James as much as James loved him but for some reason the love he felt was never as strong. For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to commit himself to James...

The night he left James he knew that something would happen, he knew James wouldn’t awake ever again. He didn’t try and save his now ex-lover, he didn’t try and save his once best friend; why? He couldn’t be the one who’d have to James broken down, all of the life escaping from him.

The air turned colder the moment the clock in Ray’s room stuck midnight making it July 15th, 2009; Ray’s thirty-second birthday. Picking up the phone, he dialled James’ number but didn’t get a reply – he was forwarded to a long voicemail message explaining how this was the end of James’ life all because of Ray Toro. Ray knew James was gone, Ray knew James wouldn’t ever tell him he loved him again; Ray knew he wouldn’t ever forgive himself for causing this death...