Denial

The sky is a bluish haze of indigo and violets, the clouds a dark purple and Frank is adding to their darkness with his tears. He doesn't even know how it happened, how he ended up here with bloodied hands and a blotchy face. They sting and they hurt but he can’t decide if he deserves it or not, he doesn't know if he's talking about the pain in his hands or the pain in his heart.

*few hours ago*

"What the hell was that Bob?"

"Leave me the fuck alone Frank, it's none of your business."

"You're my boyfriend and if something pisses you off I want to know about it."

"We're not that fucking serious Frank so stop being so fucking nosy."

Frank's stunned and he freezes, chasing after Bob numbly and comes back to life when he sees him unlocking his car doors. He manages to grab hold of Bob's arm and turn him back to him. He already has angry pools in his eyes,

"What's that supposed to mean Bob?" He says in a choked voice.

"It means that we're not as fucking serious as you think we are, so back the fuck up." He tries to get into the car but Frank gets angrier and puts all his weight into keeping Bob out of the car. Bob tries to shake him off and can't he lets his anger get the best of him and pushes Frank to the ground with his other hand.

All Frank feels is the hard pressure at his shoulder before he falling backwards, ass and hands breaking his fall. Both are bruised and his hands are torn to shit from the rough pavement covered in tiny sharp rocks and shards of hardly there glass. He chokes on the smog that surrounds him as Bob backs up and speeds off, leaving him in a cloud of exhaust fumes and dust.

Honestly he doesn't want to move but he drags himself up and avoids the entrance of the school. He doesn't want to visit the nurse for his hands or explain to his friends why he's crying. He can't walk home, well he could but his parents are home right now and won't leave till after five. He thinks about hiding out under the school bleachers but really he thinks there might be more condoms than grass out there. He's walking to the field and crashes into a car. A fucking parked car is in his way and Frank wishes for a second that it was the other way around. He recognizes it as Gerard’s and checks to see if the doors are unlocked. Of course they aren't because the world just has it out for him today but he does settle himself in between the bushes Gerard has parked in front of.

*current time*

It's getting later and he doesn't know where Gerard is and why he's still lying here. It's past school hours and Frank hasn’t moved for the past few hours. He's starting to think he might have fallen asleep when school had ended and had missed Gerard leaving but he really doesn’t want to check.

He hears the crunch of feet and feels relieved at the sound, wincing when he picks himself up his body stiff and inflexible from being crammed into that cramped space. He feels a half empty water bottle be thrown at his head and just lets that new ache join the physical and emotional ones he already has in his body. He shuffles through a space in between the bushes and waits for Gerard to open a door for him.

He's quiet through the car ride and ignores Gerard’s questions, he silently wonders where Mikey and Ray are but doesn’t bother asking. His parent’s cars are gone when they pull into the Way's driveway and he thanks him for the ride and walks back to his house. He knows Gerard is following behind him but doesn’t bother to question him. He leaves the door open for him and they both enter his home, Frank finally waking up from his conscious sleepwalk through the day.

"Are you gonna go home now? I already said thanks for the ride." He puts up his angry front not wanting to seem vulnerable in his own home.

"Dude are you okay? You seem really out of it." A crease forming between his brows.

"I'm fine Gerard I just really need to be alone right now."

Gerard doesn't care and takes off his shoes following Frank into the kitchen, putting a gentle hand onto his shoulder, Frank tries to roll it off but Gerard keeps it in place. Frank breaks and collides into Gerard’s warmth letting his heat warm him up and the moisture in his eyes gather and soak into Gerard’s clothes. He lets himself embrace and be embraced by his ex-best friend/enemy/new friend and starts to sob all his insecurities, worries, and heartbreak into his chest. He wants the ground to swallow him whole for being this much of a pussy but he needs that comfort from anyone that's willing to give it. He expects Gerard to just stand there with his hands around him awkwardly but the way he wraps his arms around him, one hand at his back and the other stroking his hair softly, his chin resting on top of his head affectionately makes Frank feel cared for.

Once he's calm enough he relays his argument with Bob to him and watches as his face contorts from calm to caring to out-for-blood.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him. He says that to you and then puts his fucking hands on you? Who the fuck does he think he is? He's so dead. I knew he wasn't any good for-"

"Gerard!"

"What?" Gerard’s comes out of his rant a bit surprised that he let himself get so enraged.

"It's okay really it’s between me and him I don't want anyone else getting involved."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?

"Well are you gonna stay with him or are you guys done?"

"I...honestly don't know Gerard but right now I'm thinking probably the latter. He doesn’t seem to want this and as far as I know healthy relationships shouldn't be one sided."

"Oh." He swears he sees a flicker of smirk flit across Gerard’s features.

"Yeah but I don't want to talk about that, my hands are torn up so I kind of want to take care of them before I have to get them sawed off."

"Let me help. The stuff still in the drawer in the guest bathroom?"

"Uh yeah." He watches Gerard leave and sits himself on the kitchen counter waiting for his self-appointed nurse to come back.

He winces when Gerard pours the hydrogen peroxide and rubs at his palms gently, examining the red grooves in his hand making sure no glass or tiny rocks were embedded in his skin. Fortunately it's nothing but a few scrapes and scratches and all he needs is gauze wrapped twice around his hands. Gerard does it carefully making sure it's not too tight or loose and lets his left thumb caress the inside of Franks wrist. He remembers how his mom used to give a kiss to wherever she stuck a bandage on him when he was a clumsy kid and does the same to the palm of Frank’s hands.

Frank tenses and when Gerard lifts his head and meets his eyes there's a moment where they just sit in silence and stare at each other. Both watching the others face for some sort of reaction. Gerard can't stop himself and has his lips meet Franks before he can fully decide whether it’s a good idea or not.

Frank doesn’t ignore the soft lips against his own and let’s himself kiss back. He doesn’t know how he feels about it. It’s a good kiss possibly great but he doesn’t know if his okay with it. He’s not a cheater he doesn’t want to be but aren’t he and Bob over? Maybe this is fate, have his heart broken by his boyfriend and mended by his frenemy. He pushes those thoughts away and gives more attention to the tongue probing ay his chapped lips, he opens them and meets it with his own. The taste of chocolate and mint falling on him in waves and he feels like that might be the taste of home. It so good and the way his legs wrap themselves around Gerard’s waist is his way of trying to hold onto that feeling, he wants to anchor himself down and never let go. His hands are tangled in the nest of black hair and he can't breathe but he doesn’t really care. If he died right now he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t notice because this would be his heaven. Of course heaven on earth doesn’t exist not even for a moment. They pull back for a moment and he smiles at Gerard as they breathe heavily both of them flushed and disheveled.
The knock comes first and then him jumping off the counter with wobbly legs and smiling over his shoulder. He answers the door to a face full of black and red roses and then taste cigarettes and the stale taste of soda. He apologizes and Frank's heart breaks at the look of sincerity in Bob's eyes. He can't do this, but he tries and puts in the effort because he's a good person. He invites him in and tells him to wait in his room. He waits till he hears the sound of his door closing and goes back into the kitchen. Smiles of tiny teeth and shining green eyes waiting for him, he puts the flowers on the counter and ask him to leave.

"Why?"

"That was Bob at the door, he and I are gonna talk."

"What do you mean you're gonna talk? You're just gonna forgive him without a second thought"

"No we're gonna talk it out and see where it goes from there."

"Frank you can't be serious after what he did and what we just-"

"That shouldn’t have happened." He lies to him.

"Well it did and I don’t regret a second."

"Gerard please go. It never happened you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. Please just leave."

"Oh so you're calling him your boyfriend again?"

"Gerard please."

"That’s tine Frank but about that kiss, I’m not sorry."

Some of his heart starts to crack as he watches him leave his house and he whispers as the door slams behind the raging person clad in black,

"Neither am I."

~*~*~*~


"I just kissed Frank."

"It's about fucking time. What did Bob say?"

"It's not like I kissed him right in front of him."

"You should have, just get the niceties of the way."

"Oh my god Mikey do you feel like attending a funeral?"

"Yours would be rather lacking in hot guest so not really."

"Mikey can we please go back to my current predicament. I just kissed Frank."

"Yes I'm well informed of that thank you."

"Mikey you don't get it he kissed back."

"That’s usually how kissing works Gerard."

"Be serious."

"Okay." He sits up from his bed and shakes himself assumingly getting into his caring mode, "oh my god Gerard I can’t believe he kissed you! What the hell are you gonna do now? Are you guys like a thing?"

"Tone it down Mikey no need to be that excited."

"Asshole."

"Sarcastic prick." Gerard retorts.

"Yeah yeah so how did this grand event occur? Did you just go in for the kill and totally mouth rape him?"

"No...Yes? It depends on how you look at it I guess. He and Bob kind of got into a fight and broke it off sort of? I don't really know. You saw what happened this morning ad then after detention I go to my car and he pops out of the bushes like some magical punk leprechaun and then I drive his little melancholy ass home and follow him in and then he tells me how he fought with Bob and Bob actually pushed him down and then I cleaned up his hands and kissed him and he kissed back."

"So what you're saying is that you were there for him like a knight in shining armor and when you assaulted Franks lips he kind of liked it and kissed back?"

"Yeah."

"Okay....I don't see the problem."

"Ugh! When we were kissing Bob got there and wanted to talk to Frank."

"Well that's fucked up. Are they gonna get back together?"

"Frank just told me to leave so they can talk but I don't know Mikey. I was so hopeful for a minute it seemed like everything was finally falling into place but then..."

"Just relax Gee, talking that's all that's going on there okay?"

"You're right, you're right I just need to get myself together, go take a nap and sleep it off."

"Rethink the sleeping part 'cause I rented Annabelle."

"Okay then change of clothes, my crucifix, and my pillow."

"Pussy."

"Satan"

"It's pronounced Sa-teen"

Gerard gives his brother the finger and walks to his room. When he get there he has to cross his mine field of a room to make it to his lamp because he has been way to lazy lately to actually change the burnt ceiling one. His window is open and he cant keep his eyes from being drawn to the silhouetted figures illuminated in Franks bedroom window. He can't actually hear anything but he can see everything perfectly. He keeps his light off and continues to watch them.

Yes he knows he's being a fucking creep but when it comes to Frank he really doesn't give a flying fuck. He tries to imagine whats being said by the way Frank moves his hand around while he talks and it gets to a point where Frank is standing beside the bed almost yelling (Gerard still cant fucking hear god damn it) while Bob sits there not talking.

He finally says something and Gerard is ready to run when he sees the strong grip Bob has around Franks frail arms, then his breath stops when he sees him being pulled down for a kiss.

He takes in everything. The way Frank pauses and doesn't respond to it, almost trying to detach himself but gives in when Bob puts a hand at the back of his neck keeping him close. Frank crawls into his lap and they fall back onto the bed, he only thing Gerard can see is the back of Franks head. Not that he needs to see anymore, he thought he actually had a chance. He thought everything was finally about to work itself out but of course not. After everything he had done how could he expect for Frank to just run to him like nothing had ever happened between them.

He reaches under his bed grabbing the metal case he uses to hold his paints in and takes it into the living room with him. Silently he sits down beside his brother and opens it.

"Woah you brought out the big guns. The occasion?"

"Just get fucked up with me will you?"

Mikey starts the movie as Gerard rubs the white powder onto his teeth, tasting it before he passes it to Mikey and moves on to something harsher. Being sober with a broken heart would kill him before the drugs do anyway.

Notes

ugh,

-Venomous Kiss