All That's Left Of Yesterday

Gerard's P.O.V.

I lie on my bed breathing heavily and staring at my trashed room. I've spent the past hour knocking stuff over, throwing stuff around and generally destroying things. I don't know what to make of this situation and to be honest I'm just angry that I've been put in this position. Incest is illegal and wrong, nothing else to it so I refuse to do anything to lead him on. So how am I supposed to react? Anyway I have a boyfriend. I won't be able to hug or so much as touch Mikey anymore so maybe it would be best for all one of us were to just disappear somehow? I can't have any feelings for Mikey anymore.

I open my door and head to the bathroom to get a glass of water. I start climbing over the mess covering the floor where I threw a lamp at Mikey's door. I watch the wood and glass crunches under my feet as I walk, not paying attention to what's in front of me as I walk into something. I look up to find myself face-to-face with Frank.

Frank looks sad as he looks down at the mess on the floor but his expression changes as he looks up. His eyes meet mine and my boyfriend's face is filled with anger and even what looks like hatred. Something shiny catches my eye and I look down at his hand. Shit! He has a fucking KNIFE! Frank notices my gaze as I take a few steps back.

"I pulled this," he says gesturing to the knife, "out of your brother's hands before he slit his wrists, again! What the fuck were you thinking? He just got out of hospital; he needs your fucking support!" At first I just stand shocked. Frank never gets angry and certainly not towards me. Hang about, why is he yelling at me? Frank's my boyfriend; he should be on my side. I only did what I did for him and anyway, I'm not the one going round saying I'm in love with my brother. This is not my fault!

"Do you even know why I did it?" I demand. "Or do you just get a kick out of yelling at me? You don't even know my part of the story. And, if you forgot, I'm the one that's your boyfriend, not him! Do you know what he's been telling people? Do ya Frank? You know that that incestuous freak is telling people he's in love with me?!" I spit out the last words feeling angry at Mikey for coming between me and Frank and for putting me in this situation.

I try to calm myself down. I walk towards Frank and take his hand.

"Frankie, I love you. I really do. I don't want anything to come between us, especially this."

"But he's your brother Gee. He needs you and you're just hurting him. It's not fair."N

Not fair? It's not fair that my brother told me he loves me. It's not fair that to make him 'happy' I'd have to do something illegal. It's not fair that even if I didn't think of the legal side of it I could lose Frank. It's not fair that Mikey wants me to love him in ways I don't so maybe it's best if I don't love him at all.

"Frank, how can I even look him in the eyes after this? If he's gunna continue thinking what he said, having these sick fantasies then..." I pause thinking through what I'm about to say, not wanting to say it but it seems the only way out. "Then he's no brother of mine. He's a stranger to me."

Frank lets go of my hand and frowns. My heart sinks. My baby doesn't want me anymore.

"Gerard," he says calmly but not calling me by my nickname. He sighs before continuing."

If that's what you think then I can't change your mind. But if you're not going to be there for him then someone else needs to. And since you won't want a stranger in your house then I think it's best if he comes to live with me. I don't care if he's gay, straight, incestuous or a fucking vampire. After all he's been through and how much he's relied on you I can't say I'm surprised he thinks he loves you. Now why don't you go to the cinema with Ray or something like that for a few hours and we'll both be out of your way when you get back." He hands me a ten dollar bill and walks into Mikey's room.

I stand there shocked for a minute as Frank busies himself packing Mikey's things. Did I just get dumped? And for my BROTHER?!

I walk down the stairs, glancing at the pervert that's stolen my boyfriend sleeping on my sofa. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes as I leave my house. And leave my Frank.

Notes