All That's Left Of Yesterday
We all have our horrors and our demons to fight
Gerard's P.O.V.
The house seems so empty and quiet and I don't feel at all comfortable in the suit I'm wearing. I don't want to go today, I'm not sure I can take it. It's too soon, they should have waited, given everyone a chance to get over it. But here it is already. And I have to go. For Mikey.
I get in the car, feeling physically sick. I don't want to see him. I'm not ready yet. The whole way I fiddle with my clothing and nibble on my lip, trying to stay strong. As I approach I find myself feeling dizzy and realise I've been holding my breath.
As I pull up to the courthouse I see Mikey waiting outside. I smile up at him because I know that however nervous I may be, he is 1000 times more so. As soon as I get out of the car he runs over and throws his arms around my neck. "It'll be okay Mike," I whisper in his ear before taking his hand and leading him inside.
We take our seats just as Frank comes in and I feel Mikey's grip on my hand tighten. I want to yell. I want to cry. I want to scream and kick and attack Frank. I want to throw my arms around Mikey, shielding him from the pain. But I can't do any of these things so I just sit here, helpless.
The trial goes slow and neither of us gets any calmer, every time Frank talks I can feel Mikey tense up beside me. After what seems like hours they come to a conclusion: up to 6 months. Up to 6 measly fucking months! He should have been locked up for years, life even but the bastard got away with self defence and the judge went along with it! Bastard.
The whole journey home the anger builds up inside me. I want to hit something and when I get home that's exactly what I do. I throw my weight at the wall, punching it with all my strength, tears flowing down my face, until I see Mikey in the corner of my eye, cowering in the corner watching me, his face also flooded with tears.
I feel bad for scaring him, this must be even worse for him. I walk over and hold him in my arms. Gently, I rock him, calming both of us down a bit before resting our foreheads together and staring into his eyes. I'm so grateful he's alive, I don't know what I would have done if he'd died. I really feared he wouldn't make it this time. But he did and nothing can take that away.
I pull Mikey onto the bed, planting a kiss on his lips. He smiles slightly as I start humming him a lullaby like I did when we were kids and within a minute he's fast asleep in my arms. I smile to myself as I watch him sleep thinking how nice it is to see him so peaceful.
The house seems so empty and quiet and I don't feel at all comfortable in the suit I'm wearing. I don't want to go today, I'm not sure I can take it. It's too soon, they should have waited, given everyone a chance to get over it. But here it is already. And I have to go. For Mikey.
I get in the car, feeling physically sick. I don't want to see him. I'm not ready yet. The whole way I fiddle with my clothing and nibble on my lip, trying to stay strong. As I approach I find myself feeling dizzy and realise I've been holding my breath.
As I pull up to the courthouse I see Mikey waiting outside. I smile up at him because I know that however nervous I may be, he is 1000 times more so. As soon as I get out of the car he runs over and throws his arms around my neck. "It'll be okay Mike," I whisper in his ear before taking his hand and leading him inside.
We take our seats just as Frank comes in and I feel Mikey's grip on my hand tighten. I want to yell. I want to cry. I want to scream and kick and attack Frank. I want to throw my arms around Mikey, shielding him from the pain. But I can't do any of these things so I just sit here, helpless.
The trial goes slow and neither of us gets any calmer, every time Frank talks I can feel Mikey tense up beside me. After what seems like hours they come to a conclusion: up to 6 months. Up to 6 measly fucking months! He should have been locked up for years, life even but the bastard got away with self defence and the judge went along with it! Bastard.
The whole journey home the anger builds up inside me. I want to hit something and when I get home that's exactly what I do. I throw my weight at the wall, punching it with all my strength, tears flowing down my face, until I see Mikey in the corner of my eye, cowering in the corner watching me, his face also flooded with tears.
I feel bad for scaring him, this must be even worse for him. I walk over and hold him in my arms. Gently, I rock him, calming both of us down a bit before resting our foreheads together and staring into his eyes. I'm so grateful he's alive, I don't know what I would have done if he'd died. I really feared he wouldn't make it this time. But he did and nothing can take that away.
I pull Mikey onto the bed, planting a kiss on his lips. He smiles slightly as I start humming him a lullaby like I did when we were kids and within a minute he's fast asleep in my arms. I smile to myself as I watch him sleep thinking how nice it is to see him so peaceful.
11/1/13