The clock was too loud and the room was cold. Outside it was snowing, the hospital grounds covered in metres of snow. The hairs on Frank's arms were standing up as he waited for Gerard, and it wasn't just from the cold.

When the door finally opened, Frank felt like he was going to throw up.

Seven years. It had been seven Lomg years since they'd last seen each other.

Gerard was staring at Frank in the same he had all those years ago. With some sort of twisted version of what Gerard called love.

Frank watched him slowly sit down in front of him, a trembling smile trying to force it's way upon his lips.

"You came," Gerard whispered, his voice thick with tears. "You really came."

Frank just nodded, unable to bring himself to smile. Gerard's eyes rested on the thick, ugly scar across Frank's throat and felt his heart thump loudly.

"I... How are you?" Gerard asked softly, leaning forwards.

I'm fine Frank signed with his hands.

Frank's vocal cords had been completely destroyed after Gerard had cut his throat and the doctors had just about managed to save his life. He was lucky to get away with nothing more than slashed vocal cords. The only noise he was capable of making these days a rasping, choked sound. He'd spent the last few years of his life learning sign language, hating that his voice was gone forever, his only way of communicating through his hands.

"That's good. Happy Christmas by the way," Gerard replied, not taking his eyes off of the man in front of him.

Frank had grown ever so slightly taller and he'd put back on the wight he'd lost, but was still thin. His eyes weren't the same as they had been though. There was something so sad and broken about Frank's face that made Gerard's stomach churn with guilt.

You did that to him. You took away everything from him.

He'd acquired new tattoos and his hair was a little longer, falling into his eyes, the rich chocolate colour shining under the lights.

Happy Christmas Gerard Frank signed back to him. How are you?

"I miss you," Gerard said, the lump in his throat, thick and burning. "Every day. I think about you every single minute. About what I did to you. About all the things that happened to you because of me."

You're ill Gerard. You still are and will be for the rest of your life. I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened, but I know you don't understand that..

"I understand what I did to you Frank. I understand that I changed who you are and I ruined your life. You must hate me."

Don't ever think that I hate you. You can't ever think that.

"Why not? Why don't you hate me Frank? Why are you even here?"

Because I'm confused..

"About what?"

About how I feel for you. I don't hate you Gerard, even though I should. I think about you all of the time and none of what I feel makes sense. It's your fault that I feel this way though. I don't know what it is, but I've been wanting to see you for the past seven years. I've only felt ready to actually do it recently though.

Gerard swallowed. "I'm so sorry Frank."

I hate that you're always going to ruin every relationship I'll ever have though..

"What? I don't... I don't unstand Frank," Gerard said gently, frowning.

I'm in love Gerard, but it's never going to work out between me and her because of you. I haven't seen you in seven years but you've still somehow managed to ruin our relationship. I can't get over you and it's not fair on Michelle that you're always going to be on my mind, that she'll never get every part of me, because such a huge part of me is yours.

"What? Frank, Frankie, no, we're not... No Frank. The isn't a single bit of you that's mine. You belong to yourself," Gerard insisted.

No Gerard. I can't ever let go of you, and I don't even want to.

"Frank, God, I'm so sorry," Gerard choked out, burying his head in hands, the tears spilling over. "What did I do to you Frank?"

Gerard gasped when he felt a cold, thin hand shakily rest over his wrist, prying his hands away from his wet face.

Dont cry. Don't cry over me Gerard.

Frank didn't let go, clutching Gerard's hands tightly.

"I didn't... Fuck Frank, how do I fix this? Tell me how I make it better?" Gerard pleaded, searching Frank's face desperately.

Frank shook his head. I don't need fixing and neither do you. This is just the way we are, you can't change that.

"This wasn't how you used to be though Frank," Gerard pointed out, biting his lip.

This is just the way it is Gerard. It's different, but it doesn't have to be the end. You know that, don't you?

"No," Gerard whispered, managing to smile. "I don't want this to be end."

Good. Because it doesn't have to be. It won't the same, but this...

Frank's hands stilled and he smiled at Gerard for the first time in seven years.

This could be the beginning.

Notes

The end!!!!!

i don't think there's going to be a sequeal, but who knows what could happen in the future......