Bob and I walked for one and a half hours without stopping. I didn't want to stop and give myself a chance to consider seeing Gerard. It's funny. I no longer feel the heart wrenching pain like I did three months ago. I just feel numb. No real emotion or feeling is running through my veins right now. Just an empty numbness, sometimes I fear I may be dead, for I don't feel a thing. It scared me to think that I may be dead. I remember one night the empty numbness was so bad I decided to test if I could still feel, I had taken a pocket knife and made a small cut on my wrist. Nothing big just a small cut. The pain from the wound didn't faze me, but something in my stomach lurched at the danger of it. I had been so long without feeling a damn thing, that I made another small cut on my wrist. After a while I couldn't stop. With each slice more adrenaline pumped through me. I could feel again, even if it was temporary. I now had a small collection of scars on my wrist. I glance over at Bob, he seems deep in thought so I decide to leave him be and go back to my own thoughts.
A week after I left Gerard, I felt so broken and miserable. The ragged pain in my heart was almost unbearable. I now look back at that pain and long for it, at least if I still felt that I would remember that I was alive. At the time I didn't want to feel anything, I wanted to be numb to my emotions, even though I soon learned that was a dumb thought. I had taken a liquor bottle and stared at it for a long time. I remember my mom drinking it when dad beat us. When I asked her why she drank it she told me "It makes it better." I remember how unaware of everything she was when she drank, and I wanted to feel like that. I had taken the bottle and taken a large swig out of it. My throat burned, but I felt my emotional pain weaken. I took another sip, than another, soon I had drank the whole bottle. I didn't even think about Gerard.
I am shaken from my thoughts by Bob's voice.
"Frank you ok?" He asked me "You were kind of gazing off into nothing..." concern light in his voice.
I nodded " Yeah I'm fine, just tired." It was true I was tired, but that was one of my least concerns. Eventually I just kind of let my mind wander to think about stupid things to occupy myself. As I was thinking I ran into a large body.
"What?!" I ask slightly alarmed.
"That." Bob says pointing a finger.
The city I had been kid napped in while I was with Gerard, was now a blazing inferno.

Notes

Yeah sorry I kind of have low Insperation, so if this chapter wasn't as good sorry! Anyways how do you guys like it so far?

Never change

#WOLFY#