“Why do you think Spider-Man would when in a fight?” I asked insidiously because who puts money on Spider-Weenie winning against the fucking Hulk!?
“He would just tie the Hulk up.”
“The Hulk would break free and break Spider-Bitch’s face.” I cried angrily.
We were standing at the bus stop in downtown New York. Mikey had came to see Alicia and I got to meet her. She was actually really, really cool! She played bass really good and when Mikey watched her play, I could totally see the wedding bells ringing- or something like that.
“Spider-Man would fucking neutralize the Hulk.” Mikey grunts.
“The Hulk would smash Spider-Man’s balls through his eyes.” I said finalizing the argument.
I went to go get something from my bag and as I was bending down I caught sight of someone.
And that was a very fine someone.
He was really short, and kind of looked like a Punk. We’ll call him Hulk because the fucking Hulk is superior. So Hulk was wearing semi-baggy dark blue jeans, ripped at the knees, and a black semi-tight shirt that said “D.A.R.E. to be drug free” in bright red. He had light colored eyes. Either brown or green, I couldn’t really tell because he was too far away. He was smoking and had something shiny in his lip, bright colored tattoos littering his arms.
“Bet you 20 bucks you can get his number and a date” Mikey whispers in Gerard’s ear and he jumps seven feet because Mikey had the stealth of fucking ninja what the fuck?
“Jesus Christ Mikey!” I yell whispered.
“So, we on?” He grins.
“No! “ I yell. “I have no game.” I said like a four year old saying “DUH!”
“Exactly, and if you don’t get a date and a number, you get 20 dollars from me. You can’t lose man!” He says, his stupid fucking grin cracking his ugly face.
“20 dollars, and a gallon of humiliation. Hmm, NO!” I said, still whispering.
“45 and the newest X-Man comic.” Mikey says smiling stupidly cheese because the stupid bastard knows me way too well.
“Oh my god fine” I wail, my cheeks already turning red.
“Go get em’ tiger” Mikey yells and gets the Hulks attention. Fuck.
I take the walk of shame to him and look at him smiling awkwardly and rubbing the back of my head and hooking my hand on the back of my neck. “Hey I’m Gerard and I saw you from back there,” I say briefly turning a bit to the direction I came from “and I thought you were good looking so I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go out some time?” I say, my voice getting an octave higher and I talk a bit faster as I near the end of the sentence, his cheeks erupting in red.
The Hulk smiles and says “I’m Frank” putting his hand out, and wow his name fits him. I take my hand from behind my neck and awkwardly shake his hand once twice, and then for a second, one measly second, our hands just hung and I shot my hand to my chest like I was burnt. Hul- Frank, was smiling at me, looking amused.
“So who is the guy that is laughing at you?” Frank asks jutting his chin out to the direction of Mikey.
Oh god, Gerard’s cheeks are on fire now. “Oh my gooodd Mikey” I wailed. “That is Mikey, my brother. We made a bet on whether or not I could get you to go on a date with me” Gerard says and Frank’s smile drops and all the sudden he looks pissed off. I run through what I just said and curse my existence.
“Oh god, nononononono not like that! It wasn’t like a cocky thing, he just, uhg. He is unfortunately my brother and I saw you and thought you were hot and he knows I am a failure at life and a bit socially hazardous and he bets that I can come over and get your number and I know that isn’t happening and I wasn’t going to do but then he offered the new X-men comic and at least I would have something to show for all this humiliation and oh my god I’m babbling. I am just going to go curl up and die in a hole now! Bye!” I said walking away and literally face palming. Like actual palm to face. I am about to fucking cuss out Mikey but then I hear “Gerard! Gerard! I think you dropped something!” from behind me, and I contemplate murdering Mikey or myself because OF COURSE I am going to drop something and have to look at him again. I eventually grow a pair, swallow my pride and turn around red cheeked and cringing a bit as I take the recite he hands me and I turn back to Mikey and the asshole is laughing hysterically.
“Mikey stop!” I pouted.
“What did he hand you?” Mikey says, wiping tears from under his glasses.
“A recite I dropped.” I said handing the piece of paper to Mikey and putting my head in my hands because I am so fucking embarrassed right now.
“Uhm Gerard?” Mikey asks curiously.
“What?” I mumble through my hands.
“When do you ever go to Vegan restaurants?” He questions and I pull my head from my hands, a puzzled expression on both our faces.
“Huh?” I say grabbing the recite and looking at it, and sure enough there it is.
“Veronica’s (Vegan café)?” I ask aloud. I try to remember when I had EVER been there. Probably sometime at a party either stoned or drunk, but when I voice this theory Mikey shakes his head saying no, not possible, we always get McDonalds when we were getting the munchies. I didn’t smoke that much pot anymore but Mikey was such a stoner. Really getting confused I turn it over and see some scratchy blue in on the back of the recite.

Frank (:
214-769-6679

My jaw dropped and I leaned forward and there was Frank looking at me and grinning huge. He puts a hand to his ear mouthing ‘call me’ and our bus pulled up.
Mikey smiles really big and I roll my eyes.

So maybe little asshole brother’s weren’t too bad.

Notes

Hiah. (: