Summertime
When The Lights Go Out
It started off with a simple kiss. It wasn't meant to happen, but it did. That's what started this whole problem. My father wasn't too happy about it. What was I suppose to do? I wish there was someway I could fix.
"You're telling me you're a fucking fag?" my father sneers.
I cowered away from him, hitting my calf on the coffee table of the living room. I looked over at my mother who just stood there, watching it all go down. Mikey stood behind her, tears streaming down his face. I whimper and hold back the tears. This is not how it was suppose to go down. It wasn't like I started this kiss. He shouldn't be yelling at me. I'm his son for crying out loud! Shouldn't parent's give a chance to their children to explain. This is like child abuse, shouldn't I be reporting this? I can't... I still got Mikey to think about, he shouldn't be going through any of this.
"You think you're going to come here and kiss a boy in front of [i]my[/i] house and put [i]my[/i] name to shame?" He points a finger at me. I let the tears fall free from my eyes. There's no point in wiping them off, they'll just keep running down. Instead I look down at my shoes. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing seems to come out. I cough a few times.
"I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean for it to happen,"
"The hell you are, if you're going to be here, kissing boys in my house, then you aren't going to live in this damn house."
"No! Dad, don't kick him out." I look back up and find Mikey in front of our mother.
"Shut up! Go to your room Michael." He turns around to glare at Mikey. Mikey cowards back, hiding behind mom. Mom reacts and holds Mikey. She's muttering sweet words to calm him down, sweet words that need to make their way through my head to calm me down. I feel my chest tighten. I shake my head. This is all my fault. I blink away the tears swimming in my eyes.
"Get out now. I don't want to see your face for another second, you disgust me."
"N-no. Please dad. Don't. W-Where will I go?"
"Don't- You are no son of mine. And I don't care where you go, I just want you out."
"Let me at least take some clothes with me," I pleaded.
"No." he grits his teeth.
He grabs hold of my collar and starts dragging me towards the door. He yanks it open and pushed me out the door. I trip down the three steps and hit the concrete. I hiss, holding my scrapped knees.
"And stay out. I don't want you to come near this house ever again. You hear me?"
Mikey rushes out the door and kneels next to me. He holds my face in his hand, he keeps muttering apologies. His hands are trembling. I hold onto them. I whisper 'it's okay Mikes, it's not your fault' over and over. I look behind him and see my dad's face go red. He's yelling. Mikey gets up and rushes back inside.
"No wonder your friend moved! The Iero's didn't want their son hanging out with a fag!"
He slams the door. I could hear Mikey crying from inside the house. I could hear dad yelling at Mikey to shut up. I get up gently, trying not to put too much pressure on my knees. My jeans were ripped and my knees are scraped. I start walking down the road, wiping my nose every once in a while as it started to run. I kept walking, getting closer to the deserted park. No parent would like their kid out at this time of the day. I got to a bench and sat down on it. I looked around the park, taking in my surroundings all at once.
I hyperventilate as I let everything sink in. My fucking parents disowned me. What the fuck am I going to do now? I had a god damn future to follow through. I can't live a life in the streets. I need moral support. I can't. What am I going to do? I don't want to live like this. This must be some kind of sick joke. Why did I let this all happen? I could've just stayed away from him. I could have stopped him from kissing me. Fuck, I could've even punched him to prove to my dad that I didn't kiss him. It wouldn't of have mattered anyway, he would've still disowned me. I shake my head as more tears kept rolling down my cold cheeks. I lay down on the wooden bench, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep in. I pull my knees up to my chest, crying my self to sleep.
"You're telling me you're a fucking fag?" my father sneers.
I cowered away from him, hitting my calf on the coffee table of the living room. I looked over at my mother who just stood there, watching it all go down. Mikey stood behind her, tears streaming down his face. I whimper and hold back the tears. This is not how it was suppose to go down. It wasn't like I started this kiss. He shouldn't be yelling at me. I'm his son for crying out loud! Shouldn't parent's give a chance to their children to explain. This is like child abuse, shouldn't I be reporting this? I can't... I still got Mikey to think about, he shouldn't be going through any of this.
"You think you're going to come here and kiss a boy in front of [i]my[/i] house and put [i]my[/i] name to shame?" He points a finger at me. I let the tears fall free from my eyes. There's no point in wiping them off, they'll just keep running down. Instead I look down at my shoes. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing seems to come out. I cough a few times.
"I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean for it to happen,"
"The hell you are, if you're going to be here, kissing boys in my house, then you aren't going to live in this damn house."
"No! Dad, don't kick him out." I look back up and find Mikey in front of our mother.
"Shut up! Go to your room Michael." He turns around to glare at Mikey. Mikey cowards back, hiding behind mom. Mom reacts and holds Mikey. She's muttering sweet words to calm him down, sweet words that need to make their way through my head to calm me down. I feel my chest tighten. I shake my head. This is all my fault. I blink away the tears swimming in my eyes.
"Get out now. I don't want to see your face for another second, you disgust me."
"N-no. Please dad. Don't. W-Where will I go?"
"Don't- You are no son of mine. And I don't care where you go, I just want you out."
"Let me at least take some clothes with me," I pleaded.
"No." he grits his teeth.
He grabs hold of my collar and starts dragging me towards the door. He yanks it open and pushed me out the door. I trip down the three steps and hit the concrete. I hiss, holding my scrapped knees.
"And stay out. I don't want you to come near this house ever again. You hear me?"
Mikey rushes out the door and kneels next to me. He holds my face in his hand, he keeps muttering apologies. His hands are trembling. I hold onto them. I whisper 'it's okay Mikes, it's not your fault' over and over. I look behind him and see my dad's face go red. He's yelling. Mikey gets up and rushes back inside.
"No wonder your friend moved! The Iero's didn't want their son hanging out with a fag!"
He slams the door. I could hear Mikey crying from inside the house. I could hear dad yelling at Mikey to shut up. I get up gently, trying not to put too much pressure on my knees. My jeans were ripped and my knees are scraped. I start walking down the road, wiping my nose every once in a while as it started to run. I kept walking, getting closer to the deserted park. No parent would like their kid out at this time of the day. I got to a bench and sat down on it. I looked around the park, taking in my surroundings all at once.
I hyperventilate as I let everything sink in. My fucking parents disowned me. What the fuck am I going to do now? I had a god damn future to follow through. I can't live a life in the streets. I need moral support. I can't. What am I going to do? I don't want to live like this. This must be some kind of sick joke. Why did I let this all happen? I could've just stayed away from him. I could have stopped him from kissing me. Fuck, I could've even punched him to prove to my dad that I didn't kiss him. It wouldn't of have mattered anyway, he would've still disowned me. I shake my head as more tears kept rolling down my cold cheeks. I lay down on the wooden bench, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep in. I pull my knees up to my chest, crying my self to sleep.
7/25/13