Rock and Roll Ruined My Life
On the Road to Recovery
Rock And Roll Ruined My Life- Chapter 24- On the Road to Recovery
I woke up shivering. Why was everything sideways? Where am I? Why am I here? I saw my breath materialize before me. I propped myself up on one elbow and gasped. I could barely move my frozen arms and legs; there was a light layer of frost over my coat. Did I fall asleep OUTSIDE?!
“Holy frappuccinos its cold.” I stood up and looked around. I was in an alleyway. “This doesn’t look like New Jersey,” I rasped. I carefully stepped over two other sleeping bodies and walked onto the main avenue.
“No,” I whispered as I stared around the familiar Manhattan street that I once used to live on. All of the memories came flooding back to me and I rushed back into the alleyway and sat back in the corner, whimpering and crying. I don’t know how long I stayed there. I only remember my phone ringing and somehow, Mikey was there in the alleyway pulling me off my frozen limbs and into the car where Gerard, Alicia, and Lindsey were waiting.
No one said anything, no one asked anything, no one played music, no one asked me why. They just made sure I was warm and took me home. And from then on I didn’t do anything. Thank goodness it was Winter Break because I just sat in my room all day; a lifeless, drained, betrayed, carcass.
*
On the morning of the first day of school after break, Lindsey came up to my room.
“Do you wanna’ talk about it?” She paused as if to choose her words carefully.
“Are you feeling any better?” I didn’t reply. I hadn’t replied to any questions from anyone for a week. I saw from my peripheral vision that she was about to leave. I tried to speak but no words came out. I cleared my throat. It sounded so strange me clearing my throat. I hadn’t spoken for so long.
“I-I went to his house…and when I opened his door he was sucking face with a fucking slut. A fucking blonde, oranged skinned slut.” My voice cracked and I broke down for the second time over HIM. Lindsey rushed over and pulled me into a hug. I sat there and explained everything in detail, crying practically the entire time.
“Honey, I’m so sorry,” she soothed me as she rocked me back and forth.
“I loved him so much. So FUCKING much and he just turns around and leaves me out in the cold.”
“He’s just an asshole.”
“And a jerk. I almost killed him and that bitch.” I confessed to her.
“I bet you did,” she smiled.
“I really almost did.”
“Well, at least you got to talk to someone about it right?”
“Yeah,” I wiped my face, “thanks, Lindsey.”
“No problem. Rest today, get some sleep,” she said getting up.
“Gerard and the gang will be happy you’re feeling better,” she added before closing my door behind her.
I pulled my covers up and flipped over to my other side facing away from the window. Rest would do me good.
I woke up shivering. Why was everything sideways? Where am I? Why am I here? I saw my breath materialize before me. I propped myself up on one elbow and gasped. I could barely move my frozen arms and legs; there was a light layer of frost over my coat. Did I fall asleep OUTSIDE?!
“Holy frappuccinos its cold.” I stood up and looked around. I was in an alleyway. “This doesn’t look like New Jersey,” I rasped. I carefully stepped over two other sleeping bodies and walked onto the main avenue.
“No,” I whispered as I stared around the familiar Manhattan street that I once used to live on. All of the memories came flooding back to me and I rushed back into the alleyway and sat back in the corner, whimpering and crying. I don’t know how long I stayed there. I only remember my phone ringing and somehow, Mikey was there in the alleyway pulling me off my frozen limbs and into the car where Gerard, Alicia, and Lindsey were waiting.
No one said anything, no one asked anything, no one played music, no one asked me why. They just made sure I was warm and took me home. And from then on I didn’t do anything. Thank goodness it was Winter Break because I just sat in my room all day; a lifeless, drained, betrayed, carcass.
*
On the morning of the first day of school after break, Lindsey came up to my room.
“Do you wanna’ talk about it?” She paused as if to choose her words carefully.
“Are you feeling any better?” I didn’t reply. I hadn’t replied to any questions from anyone for a week. I saw from my peripheral vision that she was about to leave. I tried to speak but no words came out. I cleared my throat. It sounded so strange me clearing my throat. I hadn’t spoken for so long.
“I-I went to his house…and when I opened his door he was sucking face with a fucking slut. A fucking blonde, oranged skinned slut.” My voice cracked and I broke down for the second time over HIM. Lindsey rushed over and pulled me into a hug. I sat there and explained everything in detail, crying practically the entire time.
“Honey, I’m so sorry,” she soothed me as she rocked me back and forth.
“I loved him so much. So FUCKING much and he just turns around and leaves me out in the cold.”
“He’s just an asshole.”
“And a jerk. I almost killed him and that bitch.” I confessed to her.
“I bet you did,” she smiled.
“I really almost did.”
“Well, at least you got to talk to someone about it right?”
“Yeah,” I wiped my face, “thanks, Lindsey.”
“No problem. Rest today, get some sleep,” she said getting up.
“Gerard and the gang will be happy you’re feeling better,” she added before closing my door behind her.
I pulled my covers up and flipped over to my other side facing away from the window. Rest would do me good.
.
2/7/15