“Total fucking a-hole,” Gerard commented, taking a puff of his cigarette “That wasn't even nasty, it was just vile.”

It was the end of school. We were sitting, smoking our rebellious cigarette, watching the ignorant and moronic student body rush off like insects on a tree. Dean was stood with his stupid friends, still laughing about his “prank” earlier.

I sighed and opened my notebook, doodling absent-mindedly. I'd been practising my excuses for what happened to my glasses all afternoon.

“Want me to kill him?” Gerard questioned darkly “I'd totally kill him for you, Mikes.”

“Not even worth the effort,” I smiled to him “But. . .”

“But?” Gerard pressed eagerly.

“He has that stupid dog,” I commented “We could, like, nab it and leave a load of fake blood to make it look like it got snatched by that animal!”

He gave me the Gerard smile. This smile when he likes what someone's thinking. A devilish, mischievous smile. I smirked back.

“You're a genius,” He grinned, standing up and stretching “C'mon, let's go.”

* * *

Sitting at the dinner table was dire, again. Sitting in total silence, eating in total silence. A family dinner where all you could hear was forks hitting the plates.

It was like this every night of every day, every year. Gerard and I would toy with our food, not wanting to talk to Mom and Dad and they'd eat quietly, not sure what to say to either of us.

Mom had demanded to know immediately what had happened to my glasses. I didn't exactly lie, I was just economical with the truth. I told her I'd tripped, which I had, and fallen face first. She'd moaned and moaned for ages about how I had to be more careful and I didn't understand the value of money, glasses don't come cheap blah blah blah. We'd hastily taped them up as best we could and Mom had promised to take me to get some more at the weekend.

“So, boys, how was school?” Mom questioned, clearing her throat.

“Dire,” Gerard replied shortly.

She looked briefly offended. But did it stop her? No. She persisted. That's our mother. Persistent and deluded into believing she can have a normal happy family straight out of the 50s. Maybe if she'd had different kids that would be possible. But there you go.

“No arrangements with your friends?”

“We don't have any friends, Mom,” I answered.

“Oh now that's not true,” She insisted.

“Yes it is,” Gerard replied in a patronising sing-song voice.

She frowned at him. He ignored her and leant forwards so his hair fell further into his face. I looked down at my plate, at the lovingly prepared meal. I sometimes wondered why we had to be deliberately awkward with our parents, it wasn't like they were bad people or anything. Mom leaned over and brushed Gerard's hair from his face, complaining that he needed a haircut. He jerked his head away irritably.

I rolled my eyes and caught Dad's expression. He shook his head and rolled his eyes too. Mom was quiet for a moment, taking a demure bite of her meatloaf. Gerard slumped further in his seat and stabbed at his vegetables with his fork, pushing it about the plate.

I took a sip of my coke and began cutting at my food. The faster I finished, the sooner I could get away.

“No, uh, girls?” Mom questioned hopefully “No dates?”

“Will you just give it a rest?!” Gerard snapped.

Mom raised her eyebrows. She took a deep breath in as if about to submerge herself underwater for a long time.

“Honey,” She began “Are you sure you're not gay?”

Gerard began a sudden choking fit. Dad looked up at Mom awkwardly, surprised at what had just come out of her mouth. I stared at her in shock. Dad coughed uncomfortably.

“Honey, we're eating,” He protested firmly “And that's really something I doubt the boys would like to discuss.”

“Neither of them have ever had girlfriends,” Mom replied “It's strange. They should at least be talking about them. Going on dates. They don't even look at porn-”

“Mom, for fuck's sake!” Gerard snapped.

“Right, I've had enough of this attitude!” Mom insisted “Leave the table please. Go to your room.”

“Gladly,” Gerard snapped, snatching his plate up and sweeping from the table “I'm fed up of your shitty conversation.”

I stood up and went to follow him.

“You are not joined to his hip, Michael,” Mom commented.

I ignored her and followed Gerard anyway. As I went down the hall, I could hear Mom and Dad beginning to argue. They should've divorced years ago. I don't know why they carried on, to be honest. Relationships were dumb. All they did was fuck you up.

Gerard threw the door open and flung himself across the room and onto his bed with a hop, skip, leap. I perched awkwardly on my bed, like a guest, hands in my lap. He lay back on his bed, arms behind his head.

“Fucking idiots,” He snapped angrily “Stupid morons.”

I watched him lean over and grab his fork from his plate, shovelling food into his mouth. I stretched out and reached over to switch our CD player on. We both sat back and listened to the sweet sound of music, the only sane thing in this crazy world.

Gerard looked over at me, still chewing his meatloaf. He directed his fork at me like a baton.

“We should definitely go get Dean's dog!” He commented “It'd teach him a lesson.”

I shook my head.

“I wasn't serious, Gerard.”

“I am!”

I shook my head in protest. He was smirking, getting set in the idea. I knew he was imagining watching Dean freaking out from a nearby bush, smirking at me and then watching him mope around school for the next week or so.

“No,” I insisted “We'll get caught! Where would we even stash the dog?”

“We'll figure something out,” He replied, inspecting a piece of broccoli closely.

The door burst open and Mom strode in. She immediately walked over to our CD player and hit stop, complaining about “That God-awful music”. Gerard sat up and glared.

“Can't you fucking knock?” He snapped “We could've been changing or something.”

“Oh, honey, you don't have anything I haven't seen before. Remember I used to change your diapers-”

“Fucking joy.”

“Anyway. Your father and I are going out for dinner with the Coleman's. I don't want you boys leaving the house! The news says there's still a wild animal around somewhere.”

“We're not babies.”

“You'll always be my babies, Mikey-”

“Right, that's it. Have fun, Mom!” Gerard said firmly.

* * *

“We can't do this!” I appealed, trailing after Gerard like an idiot.

“Yes, we can,” He replied “Don't be such a fucking pussy.”

“We'll get caught!”

He stopped and turned to face me, throwing his arms out.

“What the fuck, Mikey! This is your idea! If you don't like them, stop having them!”

I grabbed his wrist and tried to stop him as he made to walk away. He was clutching a bag of fake blood and the leftovers from the butchers.

Mom and Dad had gone out and we'd left not long after. I'd pulled on a thick coat and scarf and Gerard was wearing a thick black hoody.

“Look, this is dumb. Let's just go home! We can pick up some junk food, maybe order a pizza and we can just watch TV. We could watch Underworld. You said you hadn't seen Rise Of The Lycans-”

“We can do that when we get back,” He replied with a roll of his eyes “This isn't gonna' take long! C'mon, let's cut through the park!”

I followed him desperately. There was always this problem with Gerard and I. That was that once Gerard got an idea into his head, that was it. He'd see it through to the end and I'd end up following him and getting involved whether I liked it or not.

He'd adopted a confident stride to his step and was now marching off ahead of me. I ran after him. Quite often, I'd wished I could be more like my brother. He was so cool and he didn't care. I, on the other hand, worried about everything. He had the cool, the talent and the wit. Gerard knew we didn't fit in and he embraced it.

Just in front of me, he stopped dead. I almost walked straight into him.

“Whoa,” He commented “It strikes again!”

“Wha- gross!”

There was a dog corpse lying at the bottom of the playground slide. Gerard was looking at it thoughtfully. I could already tell what he was thinking. He ignored the firm shake of my head and reached down to grab the corpse's legs.

I swear there was something wrong with him at times. It was disgusting. All bloody and torn up. I couldn't drag that across town.

“Go on, grab the other end!” He ordered “He'll freak!”

“No!” I insisted “I'm not doing that! It's gross.”

“Oh come on!” He pleaded “Ew, it's still warm. C'mon!”

“No. We should call the cops. We can stash the guts and tell them what happened.”

He slapped my arm and laughed. I rolled my eyes and moved away from him, walking ahead of him. My brother could be disgusting at times. I wasn't even sure where he got it from. I wasn't sure if it was part of him or if it was his desperation to be different.

“You're such a wuss,” He teased “Come on then let's get goi-”

He was cut of by a growl and then he cried out. I was thrown forwards by the force of heavy weight bumping into me. Gerard screamed out from ahead of me. I looked up and around. He'd vanished into the darkness. Gerard was gone.

Notes

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