It was more than a week before the shock of Tori's departure really began to wear off. They were days of pure hell.

Bob wouldn't talk to me, which made everyone around us tense and anxious. I tried on several occasions to talk to him, but it was like talking to a stone wall. Gerard said that it wasn't that Bob blamed me for what had happened, or thought that I had known beforehand, but deep down, I knew that he did.

Mikey had been right, too, about Charlotte having been asleep that night when Frank had called. She had been stunned the next morning to first get a bewildered call from Frank, and then find Tori packing up all of her belongings, as she made ready to move in with this John.

I tried as hard as I could to put all of my doubts about Gerard out of my head, but it was hard. What was worse, I couldn't talk to him about all of those terrifying thoughts running through my head, we barely had a moment to ourselves on the bus. And honestly, what with the tenseness on the bus, and Bob not talking to me, and all these thoughts I was thinking, I was nearing my breaking point. My panic attacks and nightmares were beginning to come back.

We were in Cincinnati, Ohio, and the guys had just finished up their set, and we were surrounded by the usual fans found in the meet and greet, when I saw Bob sitting by himself in a corner, looking glumly down at his hands. I took a deep breath, and knew I had to do something. I couldn't keep living like this. I walked over to him, and stood directly in front of him.

"Come on, Bob. You and I are going for a walk. You don't have to talk to me, but I would appreciate it if you would listen," I said, much more calmly than I felt. I expected him to refuse, but he stood up, and docilely followed me outside into the parking lot. I lit a cigarette, and inhaled deeply, before starting what I assumed would be a one-sided conversation. "Ok, so I just want you to know that I had no idea, and neither did Charlotte. I mean, I don't know if you, like, wanted me to stop her from leaving or something, but seriously, I think that would have been considered kidnapping or something. And honestly, all this not talking has got to stop. It's making everyone uncomfortable, and it's completely not helping with the whole panic attack thing. So, can we end this already?" I finally looked up at him, and to my horror, I saw his blue eyes welling up with tears.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's just, well, when I see you, I think of her, and, um, it's hard." I immediately softened my attack.

"Shit, Bob, I'm sorry, but I'm not her. And I mean, she was one of my best friends, and now, well..." I trailed off, not wanting to say what came to my mind. Bob smiled at me.

"You can still be her friend, you know that," he said, and I gulped, and shook my head.

"Honestly, I can't. I can't trust her. If she would do that to you..." I sighed. "You and I are the same, Bob. We're both, well, having a hard time dealing. And if she'd give up on you, well, she'd give up on me too. She HAS given up on me, she hasn't called me once since. And, to be honest, thinking about her, well, I guess it makes me sort of paranoid, if you know what I mean."

"Trust me, Angel, Gerard won't give up on you. That's one thing you can be certain of. Honest."

"So are we ok?" I asked.

"Of course. I'm sorry. I swear I'll try to do better." I smiled at him, threw my cigarette on the ground, and wrapped my arms around him.

"Everything will get better, I promise," I whispered.

"I know," he murmured back. "It has to. We didn't survive for things to be all shit." I laughed loudly, and we pulled apart.

"Come on, let's go back in before they form a search party."

"You're on," he replied, laughing. He held the back door open for me, and together we walked down the hall towards the meet and greet.

As we entered the room, my eyes immediately rested on Gerard, and I smiled widely. He was leaning up against the wall, talking politely to a short brunette, who stood in front of him. He was always so kind to his fans, and for the millionth time, I realized just how much I loved him.

The girl leaned into him, and he hugged her. And then, as the world began to tilt, they kissed. I heard my own sharp intake of breath, it was very loud, and the only sound I could hear. Everything was going out of focus, and the last thing I saw before I blacked out, was the look of horror in Gerard's eyes as he saw me watching.

Notes

Yes. This is cliche. I apologize.