Who I've Got To Be
Chapter 2 : Where Are You Destroya?
The sky raced by, the radio booming through her ears.
" Look alive rock 'n rollers! The ball of heat above those colored heads is starting to pass the dry dirt on your boots. Keep stomping on or else the ghosts will catch up with you. Watch out for those scarecrow shadows and make sure to keep your gun locked and loaded..." Doctor D was on the radio, like he usually was.
" He should be signing off soon.." Fun Ghoul says. Party Poison nods.
" Doesn't seem like there are any bli missionaries out here either.." Kobra Kid speaks up. Party Poison scoffs.
" They're always out here," he mutters before making a sharp left turn and making his way back.
Dark Dreamer's body jerked with the swerve, leaning herself into Jet Star. She mutters a quick apology to him and he doesn't seem to even care as he shrugs it off. Her eyes wonder back out the window. She catches a glimpse of something in the distance.
" What's that?" she points towards it and at least a few turn their heads.
" It's one of their cameras." Kobra Kid speaks up. " They'll be heading this way if it catches us in view." The car suddenly picks up a much faster speed, kicking dust up into the air. Dark Dreamer coughs, her lungs protesting against the fogged up sad excuse of a breath.
" That probably wasn't good for the baby." Someone mutters, but she can't tell who it was from the loud wind racing past in the open window.
It was almost as if it was a race to get back to the diner. Like everything in their existence depended on crunching their lapsed time and beating it. They all nearly jumped out fo the car and sprinted to the small shack. So they hadn't gone back to the diner? Where in the hell were they? It took her a few moments to take it in before trusting herself enough to continue forward.
It was a small structure and looked as if one small gust of wind could knock it flat on it's side. The roof was uneven, and the walls had a few missing places here and there. But from what she could tell, it was important. She followed the four boys through small curtain that was seemingly being used as a door. There sitting in a chair was the man himself; Dr. D. She hid quietly behind Jet Star as they chatted amongst themselves.
" We brought a visitor." someone finally says. Jet Star moves slightly but Dark Dreamer clings to his jacket sleeve. He turns and gives her a reassuring look, before gently releasing her hold on him.
" This is Dark Dreamer. " Party Poison introduces her. " She's new. We thought there was no other place to welcome her than here." It takes a moment before he answers.
" She has another little star shining in her," Dr. D finally says, looking to Party Poison for an answer. He gives a small nod, before looking to Dark Dreamer and waving her closer. She hesitantly steps torwards them. Fun Ghoul softly pats her shoulder and she takes a bit of courage from that.
" Why so worried child? " He asks her, holding an arm out to her. She looks down at it oddly. All to soon he reachs for her forearm and shakes. " How new, exactly?" he turns to Party Poison. he frowns a little.
" Just picked her up today." he says lowly, one that made Dark Dreamer quickly let go of the mans arm. What a weird handshake!
" No wonder she is so frightened." Dr. D says and then sighs. " Well, follow me child. And since you are so nervous I'll allow one of the boys to follow."
" I'll go," Party Poison barks up.
" Now shouldn't Dark Dreamer choose?"
" I'm going." he makes his way up to Dark Dreamer and stands directly at her side. " Let's go."
They move towards the back of the shed, where there she sees all the radio equipment. Everything was turned off for now. They push past a bunch of crates to exit the small shed and head back out. It had gotten dark rather fast and the chilly air left with no sun light to keep its warmth ran up her spine, making her shiver. Party Poison eyes her as she shakes but continues walking, minding his own business. They get a good distance from the shed but she continued to turn her head and look back. What would the others be doing?
" Here we are." Doc says aloud. She snaps her head forward to see a wide circle near her feet. " Don't step in it!" he warns " not yet." Dark Dreamer nods, looking up at Party Poison.
" I could step in the circle if I wanted, but my purpose here is to do this with you. So I'll be waiting." he says. You look back down to the circle, to find another circle inside that one. Except it was more so an oval rather than a circle. Something was sprinkled around the green sand that shimmered. Her eyes became fixated on it, as the bearded man ran around it a few times, basket of odd looking decorations thrown here and there. By the end of his process, there was a draculoid mask on one end of the circle, a ray gun at another, a packet of what looked like blue sand at another. Then at her feet were two blue ribbons.
" What is this?" she looks up Party Poison, confusion plain on her face.
" Shhh, he'll explain it to you. Patience, relax. They can't find you here. No one can." He seemed to follow his own advice, as he looked away and took an obviously deep breath. Had he thought her glances back were her looking out for Bli? Shrugging off any more thoughts, as she tries to take his words and relax herself.
The cool breeze drifts over her flushed cheeks and for a moment everything seemed alright. Jason was gone, but out here it didn't feel like he was. Out here it felt like he was there by her side. Maybe that was why she hadn't broken down crying yet.
" Dark Dreamer." her eyes flutter open to her name and she sees Dr. D only a foot away from her, but still inside the circle. " You have been called to the zones by the one and only witch herself. You were brought here to make a difference and guide the lost." His words register slowly through her head. " Out here belongs to the wild ones, the brilliant ones, the ones who think in color not boring ol' black and white. Out here what makes you imperfect is what makes you beautiful." Did that mean her love affair had been beautiful? Not untimingly tragic? " Mistakes are what makes us who we are, what keep us different and truely alive." Her eyes had drifted closed once more as the sweet smelling smoke drifted to her from the center of the circle. " To be true to yourself and the person you are inside. Not what the Bli demand you be. Are you ready to accept your imperfections? Are you ready to face your fault and be proud of them?" The feeling she got, the peace she was in nodded her head for her. " Good. Now open your eyes my child."
Dark Dreamer's eyes slowly open to find the blue ribbons being tied on her ankle. Then another was tied to her wrist. " Now I want you to name these two ribbons after two things you dislike about yourself. Your freckles, your stubborness, anything that comes to mind. Say them aloud."
She looks down to her ankle and thinks a moment. " My eyes." she says a bit lowly.
" Louder." Dr. D says, " let the ghosts in the sky hear you."
She takes a deep breath before trying again. " My eyes." her voice was clear, crisp, and certainly louder. She looks up at him and he nods, telling her to continue. She looks to her wrist and lifts it into the air in front of herself. " My temper." she anounces into the night sky. Silence settles around the trio for a few moments before she is instructed to walk around the left side of the circle. She found herself at the bag of blue sand.
" Pick it up and scream your name. your real name." he tells her. She slowly saunters down and picks up the packet of sand. Holding it out in the air, she screams. The shrilling sound echoes for a moment. Would the others run out to see what was going on? Surely they knew what was going on, so they most likely didn't think twice about it. Dark Dreamer takes the chance to look to Party Poison who was completely still, eyes intently watching her. " Now could you please place that bag of sand over your heart and repeat after me." She does so, holding it their with both hands. The bag seemed to emphasize her heartbeat as she held it there, feeling it thump beneath the sand.
" Heart beat, breath of life. " - " heart beat, breath of life", " The Ghosts wonder tonight, but i" - " the ghosts wonder tonight but i", "Will help them Home. The Dust of their souls"-"will help them home. The dust of their souls", " Lies within my Hands and Heart. They live on"-"lies withing my hands and heart. they live on", " In Me and in every body beneath the Sun"-"in me and in every body beneath the sun", "Their lives are not Wasted for I'-"their lives are not wasted for i", " Will hold their Beautiful Wrongs with me everyday"-"will hold their beauitful wrongs with me everyday", " And Remember why I Fight To Be Me"-"and remember why i fight to be me"
Silence engulfs them again as the pledge is finished. The words she had just repeated sunk into her head and she smiled to herself. She was starting to understand what this meant, what the killjoys meant. To be completely honest she loved it. They were telling you it was okay to be what the Bli didn't want, and that was exactly what she was. Something they didn't want, filth and scum of of a citizen they had once had hope in to be perfect. But here, it was key to be imperfect.
She looks to Dr. D to find his hands out towards her. Understanding, she hands him the bag of sand and quickly shuts her eyes. She listens as he tears it open, words escaping his mouth as he pours the blue substance over her head. " Mind, Heart and soul." he repeated at least four times, tipping the bag each time he said it. The bag was then dropped into the center of the circle.
She continued left on the circle, reaching the Draculoid mask. She stared down at it. Even uninhabited it was still pretty creepy.
" Pick up the mask." he orders her. She is a bit hesitant but does grasp it and straighten back up. " Now raise it up to the sky for me." Her arm reaches up into the night sky. It was now pitch black out, the only shining light being the moon itself. " I want you to name someone you lost to Bli."
" My boyfriend." she says, looking up at the mask in the sky. " Jason."
" His soul is lost as well. Would you like to help him?" She nods her head in responce. " Burry that mask. Then send a wishful thought his way."
Celeste turns and takes three steps before crouching and digging a tiny hole in the earth. she squishes the bli mask into the earth, a tiny tear sliding down her cheek. " I miss you, Jay. I hope you're happy wherever you are. I love you." She packs the dirt over the mask and stands. She wipes her tear, not ashamed of the small amount of emotions he had let slip through. She goes to wipe her hands and remove the dirt to her shorts, before Dr. D stops her.
" Leave it." he tells her. She moves to the next spot, where the ray gun is. It a simple white one, the kind the Bli had. " Pick up the gun and get as much dirt on it from your hands as possible."
Lifting the gun into her hands, she presses greatly into it, leaving dirt marks on the perfectly white paint. With her finger prints now littered on the gun, she is instructed to shake her head over the gun and sprinkle some of the blue sand onto the gun. She does so, the blue falling over the dirtied paint, a brief yet meaningful brush of connection.
" Now, aim and fire."
She gulps then. She had never fired a gun before, and was starting to get nervous. But she knew nervous was the last thing she should be feeling in that moment so she took a few deep breaths before raising the gun and aiming straight forward. The purple light shot from gun and fired off into the darkness. A tiny bit of smoke released from the gun as she lifted it back towards herself.
Just then Party Poison was at her side. He took her hand before Dr. D even had to tell him to, and then the finishing moments began.
" Celeste, Dark Dreamer, roamer of the zones, are you ready to accept your wrongs and imperfections?"
"Yes." her answer was honest and straightforward. She was ready for this, she could feel it.
" Dark dreamer, are you prepared to fight for the mistakes of others and your own?"
" Yes."
" Dark Dreamer, are you willing to take something perfect and make it beautiful?"
" Yes!" Party Poison leans forward, telling her that she could step into the circle now. She looks down to the line of green sand before lifting her foot and taking the first step in. As her second foot stepped in, a shout came from Dr. D. It must not have been a usual part of the ceremony because Party Poison nearly jumped into the circle as he pulled out his ray gun.
" Destroya!! Destroya!!" Dr. D shouts, his hands reaching up to the sky. He turns to Dark Dreamer and points to her. " Destroya!" he repeats.
Party Poison looks to Dark Dreamer with wide eyes. His face goes pale. What in the world was going on?
" Look alive rock 'n rollers! The ball of heat above those colored heads is starting to pass the dry dirt on your boots. Keep stomping on or else the ghosts will catch up with you. Watch out for those scarecrow shadows and make sure to keep your gun locked and loaded..." Doctor D was on the radio, like he usually was.
" He should be signing off soon.." Fun Ghoul says. Party Poison nods.
" Doesn't seem like there are any bli missionaries out here either.." Kobra Kid speaks up. Party Poison scoffs.
" They're always out here," he mutters before making a sharp left turn and making his way back.
Dark Dreamer's body jerked with the swerve, leaning herself into Jet Star. She mutters a quick apology to him and he doesn't seem to even care as he shrugs it off. Her eyes wonder back out the window. She catches a glimpse of something in the distance.
" What's that?" she points towards it and at least a few turn their heads.
" It's one of their cameras." Kobra Kid speaks up. " They'll be heading this way if it catches us in view." The car suddenly picks up a much faster speed, kicking dust up into the air. Dark Dreamer coughs, her lungs protesting against the fogged up sad excuse of a breath.
" That probably wasn't good for the baby." Someone mutters, but she can't tell who it was from the loud wind racing past in the open window.
It was almost as if it was a race to get back to the diner. Like everything in their existence depended on crunching their lapsed time and beating it. They all nearly jumped out fo the car and sprinted to the small shack. So they hadn't gone back to the diner? Where in the hell were they? It took her a few moments to take it in before trusting herself enough to continue forward.
It was a small structure and looked as if one small gust of wind could knock it flat on it's side. The roof was uneven, and the walls had a few missing places here and there. But from what she could tell, it was important. She followed the four boys through small curtain that was seemingly being used as a door. There sitting in a chair was the man himself; Dr. D. She hid quietly behind Jet Star as they chatted amongst themselves.
" We brought a visitor." someone finally says. Jet Star moves slightly but Dark Dreamer clings to his jacket sleeve. He turns and gives her a reassuring look, before gently releasing her hold on him.
" This is Dark Dreamer. " Party Poison introduces her. " She's new. We thought there was no other place to welcome her than here." It takes a moment before he answers.
" She has another little star shining in her," Dr. D finally says, looking to Party Poison for an answer. He gives a small nod, before looking to Dark Dreamer and waving her closer. She hesitantly steps torwards them. Fun Ghoul softly pats her shoulder and she takes a bit of courage from that.
" Why so worried child? " He asks her, holding an arm out to her. She looks down at it oddly. All to soon he reachs for her forearm and shakes. " How new, exactly?" he turns to Party Poison. he frowns a little.
" Just picked her up today." he says lowly, one that made Dark Dreamer quickly let go of the mans arm. What a weird handshake!
" No wonder she is so frightened." Dr. D says and then sighs. " Well, follow me child. And since you are so nervous I'll allow one of the boys to follow."
" I'll go," Party Poison barks up.
" Now shouldn't Dark Dreamer choose?"
" I'm going." he makes his way up to Dark Dreamer and stands directly at her side. " Let's go."
They move towards the back of the shed, where there she sees all the radio equipment. Everything was turned off for now. They push past a bunch of crates to exit the small shed and head back out. It had gotten dark rather fast and the chilly air left with no sun light to keep its warmth ran up her spine, making her shiver. Party Poison eyes her as she shakes but continues walking, minding his own business. They get a good distance from the shed but she continued to turn her head and look back. What would the others be doing?
" Here we are." Doc says aloud. She snaps her head forward to see a wide circle near her feet. " Don't step in it!" he warns " not yet." Dark Dreamer nods, looking up at Party Poison.
" I could step in the circle if I wanted, but my purpose here is to do this with you. So I'll be waiting." he says. You look back down to the circle, to find another circle inside that one. Except it was more so an oval rather than a circle. Something was sprinkled around the green sand that shimmered. Her eyes became fixated on it, as the bearded man ran around it a few times, basket of odd looking decorations thrown here and there. By the end of his process, there was a draculoid mask on one end of the circle, a ray gun at another, a packet of what looked like blue sand at another. Then at her feet were two blue ribbons.
" What is this?" she looks up Party Poison, confusion plain on her face.
" Shhh, he'll explain it to you. Patience, relax. They can't find you here. No one can." He seemed to follow his own advice, as he looked away and took an obviously deep breath. Had he thought her glances back were her looking out for Bli? Shrugging off any more thoughts, as she tries to take his words and relax herself.
The cool breeze drifts over her flushed cheeks and for a moment everything seemed alright. Jason was gone, but out here it didn't feel like he was. Out here it felt like he was there by her side. Maybe that was why she hadn't broken down crying yet.
" Dark Dreamer." her eyes flutter open to her name and she sees Dr. D only a foot away from her, but still inside the circle. " You have been called to the zones by the one and only witch herself. You were brought here to make a difference and guide the lost." His words register slowly through her head. " Out here belongs to the wild ones, the brilliant ones, the ones who think in color not boring ol' black and white. Out here what makes you imperfect is what makes you beautiful." Did that mean her love affair had been beautiful? Not untimingly tragic? " Mistakes are what makes us who we are, what keep us different and truely alive." Her eyes had drifted closed once more as the sweet smelling smoke drifted to her from the center of the circle. " To be true to yourself and the person you are inside. Not what the Bli demand you be. Are you ready to accept your imperfections? Are you ready to face your fault and be proud of them?" The feeling she got, the peace she was in nodded her head for her. " Good. Now open your eyes my child."
Dark Dreamer's eyes slowly open to find the blue ribbons being tied on her ankle. Then another was tied to her wrist. " Now I want you to name these two ribbons after two things you dislike about yourself. Your freckles, your stubborness, anything that comes to mind. Say them aloud."
She looks down to her ankle and thinks a moment. " My eyes." she says a bit lowly.
" Louder." Dr. D says, " let the ghosts in the sky hear you."
She takes a deep breath before trying again. " My eyes." her voice was clear, crisp, and certainly louder. She looks up at him and he nods, telling her to continue. She looks to her wrist and lifts it into the air in front of herself. " My temper." she anounces into the night sky. Silence settles around the trio for a few moments before she is instructed to walk around the left side of the circle. She found herself at the bag of blue sand.
" Pick it up and scream your name. your real name." he tells her. She slowly saunters down and picks up the packet of sand. Holding it out in the air, she screams. The shrilling sound echoes for a moment. Would the others run out to see what was going on? Surely they knew what was going on, so they most likely didn't think twice about it. Dark Dreamer takes the chance to look to Party Poison who was completely still, eyes intently watching her. " Now could you please place that bag of sand over your heart and repeat after me." She does so, holding it their with both hands. The bag seemed to emphasize her heartbeat as she held it there, feeling it thump beneath the sand.
" Heart beat, breath of life. " - " heart beat, breath of life", " The Ghosts wonder tonight, but i" - " the ghosts wonder tonight but i", "Will help them Home. The Dust of their souls"-"will help them home. The dust of their souls", " Lies within my Hands and Heart. They live on"-"lies withing my hands and heart. they live on", " In Me and in every body beneath the Sun"-"in me and in every body beneath the sun", "Their lives are not Wasted for I'-"their lives are not wasted for i", " Will hold their Beautiful Wrongs with me everyday"-"will hold their beauitful wrongs with me everyday", " And Remember why I Fight To Be Me"-"and remember why i fight to be me"
Silence engulfs them again as the pledge is finished. The words she had just repeated sunk into her head and she smiled to herself. She was starting to understand what this meant, what the killjoys meant. To be completely honest she loved it. They were telling you it was okay to be what the Bli didn't want, and that was exactly what she was. Something they didn't want, filth and scum of of a citizen they had once had hope in to be perfect. But here, it was key to be imperfect.
She looks to Dr. D to find his hands out towards her. Understanding, she hands him the bag of sand and quickly shuts her eyes. She listens as he tears it open, words escaping his mouth as he pours the blue substance over her head. " Mind, Heart and soul." he repeated at least four times, tipping the bag each time he said it. The bag was then dropped into the center of the circle.
She continued left on the circle, reaching the Draculoid mask. She stared down at it. Even uninhabited it was still pretty creepy.
" Pick up the mask." he orders her. She is a bit hesitant but does grasp it and straighten back up. " Now raise it up to the sky for me." Her arm reaches up into the night sky. It was now pitch black out, the only shining light being the moon itself. " I want you to name someone you lost to Bli."
" My boyfriend." she says, looking up at the mask in the sky. " Jason."
" His soul is lost as well. Would you like to help him?" She nods her head in responce. " Burry that mask. Then send a wishful thought his way."
Celeste turns and takes three steps before crouching and digging a tiny hole in the earth. she squishes the bli mask into the earth, a tiny tear sliding down her cheek. " I miss you, Jay. I hope you're happy wherever you are. I love you." She packs the dirt over the mask and stands. She wipes her tear, not ashamed of the small amount of emotions he had let slip through. She goes to wipe her hands and remove the dirt to her shorts, before Dr. D stops her.
" Leave it." he tells her. She moves to the next spot, where the ray gun is. It a simple white one, the kind the Bli had. " Pick up the gun and get as much dirt on it from your hands as possible."
Lifting the gun into her hands, she presses greatly into it, leaving dirt marks on the perfectly white paint. With her finger prints now littered on the gun, she is instructed to shake her head over the gun and sprinkle some of the blue sand onto the gun. She does so, the blue falling over the dirtied paint, a brief yet meaningful brush of connection.
" Now, aim and fire."
She gulps then. She had never fired a gun before, and was starting to get nervous. But she knew nervous was the last thing she should be feeling in that moment so she took a few deep breaths before raising the gun and aiming straight forward. The purple light shot from gun and fired off into the darkness. A tiny bit of smoke released from the gun as she lifted it back towards herself.
Just then Party Poison was at her side. He took her hand before Dr. D even had to tell him to, and then the finishing moments began.
" Celeste, Dark Dreamer, roamer of the zones, are you ready to accept your wrongs and imperfections?"
"Yes." her answer was honest and straightforward. She was ready for this, she could feel it.
" Dark dreamer, are you prepared to fight for the mistakes of others and your own?"
" Yes."
" Dark Dreamer, are you willing to take something perfect and make it beautiful?"
" Yes!" Party Poison leans forward, telling her that she could step into the circle now. She looks down to the line of green sand before lifting her foot and taking the first step in. As her second foot stepped in, a shout came from Dr. D. It must not have been a usual part of the ceremony because Party Poison nearly jumped into the circle as he pulled out his ray gun.
" Destroya!! Destroya!!" Dr. D shouts, his hands reaching up to the sky. He turns to Dark Dreamer and points to her. " Destroya!" he repeats.
Party Poison looks to Dark Dreamer with wide eyes. His face goes pale. What in the world was going on?
