Gerard

“Frank,” I breathed, a smile breaking out onto my face when he walked in.

He didn’t smile back. He just stood there, staring at me with watery eyes and a tight jaw, his face blank. My smile faltered and I reached my hand over to touch his hand.

“Frank?” I asked, scared. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

He opened his mouth but then slowly closed it shaking his head. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Are you fucking serious?!”

I flinched slightly at the anger in his voice. “I don’t… I don’t get it Frank.”

He made a horrified choking sound, the tears finally spilling down his face. “You don’t get it?!
Gerard, you ran into a burning building, you idiot! You could have died!”

“Frank, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t just let all of those people die!” I insisted.

“You would’ve done them a favour Gerard,” Frank spat.

“What?!” I demanded. “What the hell are you talking about Frank?”

“If that was me,” he began, “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to come and let me out. Gerard, every single one of those people is going to die sooner or later, whether it’s blood or torture they get used for. All you did was drag it out longer for them. If that was me down there, I would hate you right now. Because it would be your fault that they have to suffer for longer.”

“Frank…” my voice came out as a pathetic whisper.

“No,” he said flatly, his eyes shutting and his jaw clenching tightly. “No Gerard. You might not realise it, but you just did a really, really bad thing. Don’t you think those people wanted to die anyway? And what if you were the one who’d died Gerard?! You did all of this for nothing, you got yourself fucked up for no reason! Do you know how scared you made me?!”

“Frank, you can’t… Frank, there was girl, she was only-”

“What Gerard? What about her?” Frank snapped.

“She was only five years old! Did you just expect me to leave her down there to burn to death?! Frank, I don’t feel bad about saving somebody’s life!”

“You don’t get it! People, humans, don’t want to live Gerard! No one wants to!” Frank cried. “Do you honestly believe that we’re not all the same? Do you think a day went by when I didn’t wish I could die?! When I was still in the Institute, that was all I wanted! Every time I blacked out, I used to hope I wouldn’t wake up again!”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Gerard,” Frank sighed, sounding defeated and tired, “I know why you did it. I know you were doing what you thought was right. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Frank, I don’t want you to be angry at me, you-”

“I’m not,” he muttered, “I’m not angry at you.”

“Then what are you?”

“I don’t know Gerard.”

I reached out and snaked my fingers through his, drawing him closer to me. I stared at his face whilst he refused to meet my eyes, staring fixedly down at our hands.

“Do you still love me?” I whispered, feeling tears brimming up in my eyes.

He looked up at me then, swallowing heavily. My heart fluttered wildly and blood raced. What if he said no? What if he didn’t love me anymore? Had I really upset him enough to tear apart what we had?

“Of course I still love you,” he breathed. “I’ll always feel like this about you."