Unchained Melody

I was ten when I met the love of my life. She was the same age. She lived two houses down from us, and she had a brother too. Her name was Felicia. Felicia Jade DiPansio. She had really dark--almost black-brown hair, honey colored eyes, and a smile you could see from space. Her hair always hung loose passed her shoulder blades. She had this face that remained ageless. You wouldn't be able to tell what she would look like if she turned fifty. She was truly flawless.

Throughout the course of our childhood, we had gotten to know each other more. She wasn't afraid to tell me that her father was a cop and her mother was a raging alcoholic. Her father, who in reality as her stepdad, was regarded as one of the kindest men on the force. Her mother on the other hand, she hated anything that didn't come in a bottle and wasn't almost 90 proof. Whenever I was allowed over, she never really said anything to me. As a matter of fact, she never really said anything to anyone. No matter what time of day it was, she would sit in front of the television in her favorite chair, and be totally glued to whatever was on. In her right hand, the remote. In her left, a bottle of Banker's Club Vodka.

It was once explained to me why she was--the way she was. She was a manic depressant. After Felicia's father left, she'd gone crazy. Until she remarried Daniel's father five years after. When Daniel turned five, she went crazy again, at least that's what Felicia referred to it as.

I remember going over her house and being there for about ten minutes. She would always sneak me and Mikey through the back door. Without making an audble sound, we'd sit in her room and play with her things. She wasn't very fond of Barbie. All she owned were GI Joe men, some Star Wars action figures and her prized possession model of RC and the Twins, from the Transformers series. We would be in the middle of playing and her mother would scream from her spot in front of the television.

"Felicia! Tell your friends to leave!" Till this day, I don't know how she knew we were there.

I remember more fondly the bruises she would leave on her. Felicia was never a bad youth and knew better than to be disobedient. She just took her anger out on her most of the time. Her stepfather was never really around, since he was a cop. So it was mainly her, her brother and her mother who was there never really there mentally.

She was thirteen when she told her stepfather what her mother would do. She was the same age when she told me that her parents were divorcing and they were moving to New York with Daniel's father. My heart broke into tiny pieces. I wanted so bad to cry when I pulled her into that final hug, but I wanted to be strong for the both of us. I even remember what she wore that day. That yellow tank top and those blue denim shorts. She had developed some over the summer, so she wasn't as skinny as when we first met. I knew then that, I developed a crush on Felicia Jade DiPansio.

The next summer she came down to visit for a whole week. My parents insisted that she and Daniel come down the shore with us and enjoy somewhat of a vacation. I woke up one morning and realized that there was something I never told her. We stayed in the WIldwoods that week. We had a small vacation house down there. Her and I shared a small room. One bed, a dresser, a small television, what have you. I slightly shook her awake. I whispered to her that we should go for a walk. It was still very early so the boardwalk wasn't crowded with people. We walked and talked for a little bit. We told each other how much we missed each other and then she let out something I never thought she would say.

"You know Gee, I actually miss her sometimes..."

"You're mom?" I stuttered, almost afraid to utter those words.

"Yeah." She looked to me as if I was to give her approval. She said something she missed the most about her was the way she rocked her to sleep when she was four. And then she took the whole statement back.

"Hey Leesh," She looked to me as I stammered once more. I was ready to tell her what I had been wanting to tell her for years. What I haven't told anyone, not even my parents. Only my Grandmother knew.

"Yeah, Gee?" I paused for about thirty seconds. I was stupid not to think of how tell her before I thought to tell her.

"Leesh, I see things." She furrowed her eyebrows. I didn't make sense.

"See things, like what?" Her coral flip flops stop in their tracks.

"Like...ghosts. I mean, I can see them." She was still very confused. That day on the boardwalk, while watching the seagulls bother people on the beach, I told her everything. She thought it odd at first, but in due time she understood. Not to mention, she thought it was pretty cool. I blushed.

That night, we were on the boardwalk again. Mesmerized by the bright lights of the Ferris Wheel and arcades. The smell of Curley Fries and Funnel Cake filled the air thick. We walked in front of my parents, Mikey and Daniel, who was following Mikey around the whole week. Though, he didn't mind.

My parents gave us the permission to go off on our own. So we did. We played in the arcade for a half an hour before we started to get on rides. We got on the Tilt-A-Whirl first, the Gravitron, the Sea Serpent and lastly, the Ferris Wheel.

We were in line when my hand slightly brushed against hers. They were clammy.

"Are you scared?" She turned to me without hesitation.

"A lot." Her tan complexion faded as she turned as white as a ghost.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Leesh. I promise." I took her hand as she swallowed the last of her Lemonade. We were next to get on when her grip tightened. Going up the three small steps as our car stopped in front of us. We gave the ticket guy our tickets as I got on first. I held her hand to make her feel more secure. She sat down beside me and looked for a seat belt. She panicked.

"There are no seat belts?" I laughed.

"No. It's such a slow ride, you won't need them."

"Slow? How long will we be in the air?"

"Calm down. It's going to be okay." Then she did the inevitable. She wrapped both of her arms around me and rested her head in my chest as the ride began to move. I did what I knew would make her feel comfortable, I held her close to me as the night air whipped pass us going up. The view was beautiful. I wanted to tell her, but I knew she had her eyes closed tight.

"The air feels so good up here." She gasped. Finally, she opened her eyes. Unfortunately, she let go of me and looked out of the side of the car. "Wow. This view's beautiful! The beach looks surreal from here!" She was still holding my hand. At the ripe age of fourteen, I was having heart palpitations.

"See, I told you it wouldn't be that bad." She turned to me and smiled. Then I noticed her face was getting closer, and closer and then BAM! Our lips touched. It was my first kiss and I was sure that it was the first for her also. Her lips were pressed up against mine for at least twenty whole seconds. She pulled away as her hair was being blown all over the place. Se looked like a dream in the moonlight.

"I-I'm sorry." She looked away.

"No. No, I liked that."

"So does this make us ?"

"Don't know." I closed in for another. The ride ended after that, but the rest of my life had just begun. I was officially Felicia DiPansio's boyfriend.

Three years later, Felicia and I were still very much an item. Our relationship progressed sort of slow, being that we were so innocent. She still lived in New York and every weekend her dad would drive her and Daniel down and they would visit. She went to a different high school, of course, but our long distance relationship was fairly easy. A lot happened over the coarse of three years; I got my first car, my first job and lost my virginity. You would suppose my boyish features would shed and I would have the face and charm of a man. That never occured. I still had that stupid round face.

Exactly eight weeks after we had completely committed ourselves to each other, physically, she came around unexecetedly. I stayed home from school that day. I lied about something so I wouldn't have to go that day. Whatever, my grades were phenomenal. Geniuses need mental days too.

I sat in my room just drawing when I heard someone knock on the door. I ran downstairs to see who it may have been. We had a window at the bottom of the stairs that let you see who was outside without them seeing you. I pushed the curtains back seeing her stand anxiously by the door. Bouncing her left leg up and down, eager for someone to answer.

I pulled the door open swiftly. I knew something was up, she would never miss a day at school just so she could visit me, unless it was an emergency.

"Felicia, what are you doing here?" I let her in. It was late May. She was turning 18 in a few days. She wore a thin hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans. She got her own car a few weeks ago. It was a '91 Honda Civic, teal.

"Gee, we need to talk." She didn't give me any eye contact. She just walked right through and sat on the couch. I closed the door behind her as she began to slowly rock back and forth.

"Leesh, what's the matter?" She looked down at her feet with her palms resting on her thighs.

"Gee, I'm late." She let out in a breath, and then she began to cry.

"Late? You weren't supposed to be here until the weeke-" And then I realized what she meant. "Oh my God..." Her eyes popped up to mine. But they were different then the eyes I looked into on the Ferris wheel that night. We were going to be parents.

I told my parents first. They were eerily excited to have a grandchild on the way. They were almost too happy. They didn't even lecture me about being careful and using "protection". I guess they knew that we were being careful and that we did, indeed, make use of contraceptions. I guess I didn't expect them to be so pleasant about this. They actually kicked Mikey out of his room and down to the basement to start the nursery. Felicia's stepdad hadn't felt the same way. I impregnanted his only daughter and he didn't see how it would positively impact her future. He froze us out for a little and then he came around to realizing it was--what it was. it was like something that was going to happen whether or not we were ready.

Felicia moved in with us during her second trimester. Her dad wanted the both of us to finish school before we moved in together. We shared a room which was mine. It was right across from where the nursery would be. Sometimes, when everyone slept, I would just go in there and rock in the rocking chair. I started to eagerly anticipate the arrival of our first child. We found out we were having a baby girl when Felicia was five months. I almost couldn't wait for her due date. I just wanted to see what she would be like, what she would look like and how she would take to us. My life had been presumed with the deceased, that I thought it exhilarating that I had created a life.

She was terrified. My Grandmother accidentally let slip the story of how my father was born. Describing the pain as being kicked in the back with steel-toe boots for eight full hours. She really didn't mean to scare her. She apologized after realizing what she did.

The night she went into labor was full of chaos. Bad enough, it was already Christmas Eve. Her water had broken whilst trimming our Christmas tree. We were the only two home at the time, so I took my car and drove her to the hospital, leaving a note for my parents and Mikey to find. It was hard to see her in so much pain. She writhed and screamed in the bed as I held her hand. My parents, her dad, her brother and Mikey arrived to the hospital an hour after we did. A few weeks before, she told me how happy she would be to see her mother there. Unfortunately, she hadn't shown up.

Three hours in, the baby had been crowning. The doctors urged her to push as she screamed out in excruciating pain. Then, the room went silent. All you could hear was a small cry, which in time turned into a louder cry. She was seven pounds, thirteen ounces. She had a head full of dark brown hair, the nose of her mother and the face of her father. Her long arms and legs stretched out as her mouth grew wider in a yell. She had the lungs of her mother, as well. She was art.

The doctors took her to wash her off before handing her over to us. I stared in amazement as a single tear made its way down my face. I truly couldn't believe I helped conceive something so beautiful, by accident. The doctor handed her to Felicia who had been gushing with tears at that point. She finally stopped crying as she looked up to the both of us. She had the most beautiful pair of green eyes I'd ever seen. Her long fingers poked out of the blanket she'd been wrapped in.

"What do you want to name her?" The doctor stood next to me as I sat in a chair beside the bed. We looked to each other.

"How about Gia?" It was perfect.

"God was gracious." I whispered as I kissed her on the forehead. That's what it translated to in Italia.

Gia Denise Way was born December 25th, 2002, at 12:25am.

Six months later I proposed to Felicia. She happily accepted. Though, we weren't going to go through with it until we finished school. But that didn't stop us from making our family larger. A year-and-a-half later, Felicia was expecting once again.This time we were actually prepared. I head a steady job at an insurance company. It was easy work and it paid very well. I ended up getting my Insurance License and was finally confident in the path I was taking. Being that I was barely twenty-one with a child and another on the way, I thought it to be a good outlet to help people. I had found an art to it.

We both were taking classes at a Community College. Felicia was taking up Nursing. We had our own place which Princess Gia ruled completely. We were just her faithful servants. She began to speak in full sentences when she learned that she was going to be having a baby sister. One minute all she could say was no, and the next she was discussing world politics with you. It was bizarre. She looked more and more like her mother with everyday she graced. But she was optimistic like I was.


Our parents would visit from time to time. We lived closer to Felicia's father who was the new Deputy of the NYPD. We were in Queens Borough. Felicia's mother was committed when Gia turned one. She was in an institute in North Jersey. Felicia told her about Gia and how well Daniel was doing in school, but she didn't get the response she wanted. She blamed her for the absence of her biological fater and almost attacked her. Felicia refused to touch a bottle of alcohol after seeing her that day.

Erica Jasmine Way was born eight pounds-five ounces, May 27th, 2004 at 3:24am.

She was bron two days before Felicia, but the exact time I was born, down to the second. She looked exactly how Gia looked when she was born. It was almost scary. Gia was ecstatic to have a new baby sister. She cried when we brought her home and declared that she would teach her how to talk, walk and potty as she did. We realized that Gia was about ten steps ahead of the both of us when it came to raising our second child.

July,11th 2004: The day she became Felicia Jade Way.

When Gia turned six and Erica turned four, we moved into our first house. It was a three bedroom, two bath twin. Nothing extravagant at all. It had a backyard and a finished basement. That's all I needed to hear to put a bid in on it. Although, we were just renting. Mikey was in his second year of college and Daniel decided to enlist in the US ARMY. Felicia completely disagreed with his decision. She saw nothing good coming out of it for him. She hated it when he would come around with his head shaved, in full uniform to visit his nieces. She knew better than I did what was going to happen to him.


On Erica's fifth birthday, we threw a party for her. It was a small celebration of the kids in her Pre-K class, family and friends. I remember sitting with Gia on the swings in the backyard when I got this strange feeling. It was like the clouds mentally set-in over me. She had been saying something, when I started to drift off. The furious sound of gun fire filled my ears. I shut my eyes to see a lifeless soldier lying on a dusty ground, in full gear. As his shaven face grew pale, the maturity left him; and what was left was mere adolescence. His eyes shut, his mouth slightly open. A wound ripped through his chest. His hands out beside him.


Opening my eyes, I gasped.My lungs felt as if they'd been relieved of a fifty pound weight. I looked up to the back door, Felicia stood there with a dish towel in hand. A chill blew past her, making her hair fly in the opposite direction.

"Gee? Gee, are you okay?" Her hand was on my cheek. Gia had gotten down from the swing and began looking at me. I couldn't tell her what I saw.

"I'm fine." I picked Gia up and headed back inside. I told myself I'd been imagining things that whole week. Until that night I turned to the news. Felicia had been in the kitchen finishing dinner. It was exactly three weeks after I had that vision.

"A Nineteen year-old Soldier was gunned down in an Iraqi attempt to Suicide bomb a small school." The news woman reported as I saw Felicia pause, turn the stove off and head into the living room. I turned the television down a bit as I was ready to turn the channel, telling myself that it couldn't have been Daniel.

"Gee. Turn it up." She demanded, and so I did.

"Nineteen year-old Daniel Alexander DiPansio died along side three other soldiers in a small Iraqi town." The woman droned on. I looked up to Felicia who had been standing there dazed the entire time. Her hands begin to shake as she caught her breath.

"No..." She let out. I kept staring at her. She would stare at me, and then back at the television, and then back at me. "This can't be..." She told herself. "He's gone..." A single tear made it's way to her chin as she stood there in complete shock. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I didn't think telling her that I saw it happen before it happened was such a good idea. I got up from my position on the couch and wrapped my arms around her as she let out a blood curdling scream.

Danny's death took a tole on the entire family. The girls had been irritable the weeks before and the weeks following the funeral, Mikey took a day out of his work week to visit him in Arlington, and Felicia wouldn't eat or talk much after. She could hardly get out of bed. I took some days off work because I couldn't leave her there alone, especially when she had that look in her eye. The more I witnessed her suffer, the more I wanted to let her know that I had a premonition.

So one day, I told her. We were lying in bed. She was facing the window with her back to me. It was late morning. I let it slip as she turned to me in complete horror. And then complete horror looked as though she actually felt bad for me. She buried her head deep in my chest.

"I know..." She whispered. That was the first full sentence she'd spoken in months.

Notes